Well I had a conversation with my little sister, to tell you the truth it really wasnt much of a conversation. It was more of a speech and a small intervention about my bipolar and panic attacks.

So I have decided to just keep my plans to myself and work on getting better. Work on getting off the medication or medications that actually work for me.

My family (mom and sisters) want me to go into rehab so that I can get clear of all medications because they are afraid that I am going to end up hurting myself with all this medication (aka xanax).

So I go to the doctors on saturday and I will talk to him about the concerns of my mom and sisters. I dont want to go into in-patient rehab because I wont see my son and husband for a few weeks. I dont want that.

I wish that they knew what I go through on a daily basis. This past week I got sick and ended up going through withdrawal because I could not get a hold of my doctors. So I have a friend who takes the same meds as I do. So I borrowed some medication from her until I got a hold of my doctor. My mistake was telling my mother. See my mom wants me to tell her things that are going through in my life and when I do… It comes back to bite me in the ass. Guess you can’t have your cake and eat it too…

So who knows what this year will bring. Hopefully it will be better then last. I want to go and get a job and health insurance but I have to get over the fear of leaving my house and get my car fixed….

BLAH BLAH BLAH

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