Not going to lie, I've joined this website to read what everybody else has to say, and so that I can say what I want and no one I know will read it.

I am 18 years old and have so many health problems already, is it any wonder I have bad anxiety? Sometimes I just wake up in the middle of the night and throw up.. no warning at all. If my boyfriend takes a few minutes longer to get home, I panic that he's been in an accident and something horrible is happening. I tell myself that it's all my in head but that doesn't stop it. My thoughts just get worse and worse until I cry and can't take it anymore.

As a child I hated being alone but it's got worse now I have anxiety problems. Even when my boyfriend is with me but is on his phone, I start to think that it's because he doesn't want to be with me because I'm boring, no fun, etc. It's not like I can even talk to anyone about it, because I know how ridiculous it all sounds.

I just feel like I'm losing the best aspects of my life, which are my close relationships with family, friends and my boyfriend. It just doesn't matter how hard I try to fix that, I can't fix it and I'm just going to end up alone, something I've always feared will happen.

I guess by writing this, I hope that someone will see it and tell me they feel the same way about their life..

It's so easy to write what you're thinking to a faceless website, I wish I could just tell my family everything rather than letting them think I'm okay, and trying to put a brave face on.

1 Comment
  1. carebear2012 9 years ago

    You are not alone. We all are in the same boat here. I am in an anxiety tailspin (only way I can describe sudden onset after 2 weeks of no issue) and I worry my husband thinks I am insane and he is going not come home one day. My family is over 2,000 miles away, but they are very supportive. I have to make myself function, even when I feel like death would benefit everyone.
    But this doesn\'t have to control you. You can trust that God will be there to hold you when you need Him, as are all of us here. Have no shame or fear here. Wishing you feel better VERY soon.

    0 kudos

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