Not going to lie, I've joined this website to read what everybody else has to say, and so that I can say what I want and no one I know will read it.
I am 18 years old and have so many health problems already, is it any wonder I have bad anxiety? Sometimes I just wake up in the middle of the night and throw up.. no warning at all. If my boyfriend takes a few minutes longer to get home, I panic that he's been in an accident and something horrible is happening. I tell myself that it's all my in head but that doesn't stop it. My thoughts just get worse and worse until I cry and can't take it anymore.
As a child I hated being alone but it's got worse now I have anxiety problems. Even when my boyfriend is with me but is on his phone, I start to think that it's because he doesn't want to be with me because I'm boring, no fun, etc. It's not like I can even talk to anyone about it, because I know how ridiculous it all sounds.
I just feel like I'm losing the best aspects of my life, which are my close relationships with family, friends and my boyfriend. It just doesn't matter how hard I try to fix that, I can't fix it and I'm just going to end up alone, something I've always feared will happen.
I guess by writing this, I hope that someone will see it and tell me they feel the same way about their life..
It's so easy to write what you're thinking to a faceless website, I wish I could just tell my family everything rather than letting them think I'm okay, and trying to put a brave face on.