So out of courtesy I decided to try to explain to my parents why I need more counseling…it did not go well at all! Basically they ended up telling me I was a failure,burden,bad person,a liar,crazy, & was making stuff up to hurt them…which I have Never done in my life & Never plan to either!!! All of which hurt me very very deeply . I don't get why they both feel the need to attack me and always at the same time. Then my dad started saying how he is my father & he has control over me from God which I do not agree with yes he does have some authority but not to decide what I eat or stuff like that I am 23 not 3! And then the worst thing they said is they aren't going to pay for counseling basically because they don't like that I chose the place & wouldn't let them it is me going not them so I need to be comfortable not them with the place I am at…and it isn't like they are leading me in Satan & Demon worship they are a Christian based place! Their solution is go to church which I will not do…I must trust my counselor & be sure she won't go running to my parents which I am pretty sure they would encourage I love my church but some of the older people have weird ideas about Anxiety & such so they would probably tell me I am unholy & a horrible awful sinner!!! Not into that at all thank you very much! And we are all sinners so that point doesn't even affect anything really. I can just see someone at church's face when I say to them yeah my dad molested & possibly raped me!!!!!!! I am sure they would love that from me…I will not subject myself to them telling me I am wrong & awful for saying it because IT DID HAPPEN! Things are hard enough without the added drama. Besides my friend's on this site & my counselor I have no other friend's or support group . I don't know what to do about it I can't lose my counselor right now my world is already upside down & spinning on me. What can I do not to lose this help? Does anyone know of any kind of assistance in Pa that would cover counseling sessions? I have insurance but no mental health benefits & I can't get them myself! My Only other choice is to see if I can pay less for counseling & somehow find a small job I can do to pay for it myself but besides the Anxiety I have been dealing with major health problems for the past 4 years non stop & can't be around loud noises,stand for long periods of time, & most jobs require those things! I have looked online but each thing I have tried my parents make me stop before they even give it a chance to work because they are afraid of the internet! So so stuck & my head has been racing for days…and 4 more days till I see my counselor again which is pretty much Forever to me right now!!!!! I want to fight but I don't know how to people usually don't listen to me so I doubt talking is gonna help me out very much. And on top of all that I have panic attacks every single day & I have had a huge weight on my chest lately which makes it seem almost impossible to breath sometimes because it hurts so much…probably stress related but that doesn't make it go away or hurt any less right now!!!!!! HELP I am on the Edge!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 Comments
  1. ar310 9 years ago

    i\'m sorry to hear you\'re going through a tough time. you definitely have us here for support. i\'d say try calling your counsellor, even if it\'s just possible to talk for a few minutes to lift the weight off of your chest, and sort out your breathing, and hopefully discuss a solution to get you back counselling. from what i know of you on here, you most definitely do not seem like all the things your parents have said to you.
    keep fighting and breathing, you can do this!

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  2. yorkielover 9 years ago

    Thanks for responding guys! It is nice to know someone cares :). Other support groups I have joined have let me down a lot they act friendly for the 1st few weeks & then disappear completely :(. I took your advice & called my counselor she couldn\'t talk when she called but she was gonna set up a time when she could but then someone cancelled so she can get me in today instead of Thursday!!! Leaving my house pretty soon to see her hoping things can get worked out or at least get things rolling in the right direction. I am still Not sleeping at night was up until 5 am this morning…it is about to drive me nuts!!! I have used sleeping pills in the past & my body is resistant to them after 1 to 2 nights they no longer work & I was on the strongest 1 out their & a heavy dosage. Thinking about looking into some natural sleep stuff possibly. Would love any tips or advice you can offer…I have tried the routine thing which doesn\'t help :(.

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