i’ve had depression now for over 5 years, it just came from no where. One day i was this young giggly girl that was always smiling and the next i was sitting in my living room asking myself why i was here. the most frustrating part is not knowing why, at 12 years old i didn’t have a care in the world, had both my parents in healthy home. And yet here i am at 19, just unhappy. no will to live. not wanting to live, because i’m just tired and can’t be bothered to do anything. With bad break downs nearly every week. i just feel empty and tired. i’ll look over a balcony and think if i just jumped it could all be over. But the worst part is not only being extremely sad but making it hard for the people around me, see it break my parents heart that i’m just unhappy. i only opend up to them about 2 years ago now, and it was so hard. But i got to a point where i knew i needed help. the hardest part is accepting though, accepting the fact that i have to take medication every morning and during the day to feel at least a little bit normal, but the feeling of having to take those piles to get through a day is the worst, because its right in my face that i’m not happy and i need them to be okay. i see doctors every week but its just not going away. I can’t even remember what it feels like to be truly and honestly happy without this huge weight on my chest and shoulders. and its frustrating to not know why.