Started the new job yesterday. It's not terrible but I'm very stressed out over it. I hate working in sales. Right off the bat, my manager has made it clear that if we're not making her shit-loads of money we're of no use to her. I suppose she'd somewhat impressed with her own brashness, the way most bitches seem to be. I told DF not to expect me to stay there if I absolutely can't stand it. It's one thing to work one job I'm not wild about, but TWO that I hate? Have fun watching me turn into a suicidal mess.

I told him I'd stick with it if it was just a job I didn't care for. I'm not inflexible, after all. Unlike when I was in my early twenties, I realize the difference between a job that sorta stinks and a job that's absolutely unbearable. J.C. Macydale's sorta stinks… Lover's Den… well, I dunno yet.

Feels like I'm torturing myself, but this is really all I can get right now. They say the economy is improving–jobs are up (supposedly) but I really think it's due to the holiday spending. There's nothing out there for me but retail–I went to college because I NEVER WANTED TO WORK IN RETAIL AGAIN!!!!! and here I am–not with one retail job but two.

They say that things like death, starting/ending jobs and school and moving are at the top of the list of major stresses.

So far, within the past 12 months, I've finished school, lost my work-study job in the Admissions/Fin. Aid office, watched DF lose his dad to cancer, got hired at the police dept (dispatching is near the top of the most stressful job list), got fired from that, spent a few months unemployed, DF's 12-year-old cousin was run over and killed by a truck, got hired at X-mart, laid off after 3 months, hired at J.C. Macydale's, took on a second job after only 3 months at current job, and now DF and I are looking into a new house in another city.

So far, DF has held up remarkably well–both deaths were primarily his family. What the hell is his secret?


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