I feel the need to apologize. I am really really low tonight. If anyone usually reads my blogs I have to say I dont think the ones tonight will be good. I really really have to get some feelings out or I know I wont be able to sleep. I dont even expect these to be read, but I have to write them anyway.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about my family and friends. I asked myself what would I do if a friend of mine had had to move far from everyone and everything they knew, deal with possible divorce and living in a hotel for months with small children, surgery, total loss of all income, moving again, family abandonment, difficulty feeding her children for financial reasons, then having to take a job in a different state from her children and new home in order to try to keep a roof over her kids heads and food in their bellies. What would I do if my friend had this happen. I would call, do what I could to help. Even if all that was, was to listen and check on them every day or every few days.

That doesnt seem to be too much to ask. I have decided that I am worth that. I am tired of people just assuming I will take care of whatever happens to me and only come to me for help, but never offer a hand to me. The last 3 months have been horrendous for me but only slightly worse than the last year and a half. I deserve to have someone care. If people dont care and dont have enough caring to even check on me then I dont need to worry, stress, help, support them either.

I have never ever done this but I am seriously done with people who cant be bothered to act like friends back to me. Even if they are family. I have never been too busy to check on people I care about. If they are too busy to care about me then I deserve better. I would always always take them back if they apologized but I wont hold my breath waiting for one. I doubt any are coming.

Sigh, nice where my head is huh.

1 Comment
  1. borntired 8 years ago

    i think it is through difficult situations that you find out who your friends really are, especially when you are goinng through long term problems, i have been dealing with one health issue after another for the past five years, then the depression for the last 1 1/2 years. 

    I have had to drop a few friends but i have also picked up one very very dear friend.

    I hope that when you are gone from your family that you find that very dear friend also. Cut out the bad apples and start afresh, there are some wonderful caring people out there, don't let the bad ones spoil the others.

    what state are you moving to? and how soon will it be?

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