:11900:i really just dont know how to start not using. where do i begin at?? the thing is- 95% or so of our friends use a drug os some sort. i have overcome my hugh addiction of cocaine but i can not cut the pot!!! cocaine is different to quite.pot is a way of life. its an everyday all day thing for me.
like i said, i have overcome and beat the coke addiction that i had for several years ago. that was the worse time of my life and i never want to go back there again. never– i am clean from it for several reasons but #1 is the way i felt.how depressed it made me. i still am trying to forgive myself for the terriable things i did while i was on it.i hate the people i met while i used, they were no friend of mine. i have never felt so used in my entire life. at first yes i felt great. heck i felt great while using it for about 1 1/2 years then the lies kicked in and i was done, at that point i had no control over my use. coke had stolen my mind & was in total control of me. its wild that the one thats messed up does not see it al that way. i thought i was fine, i had it all together. i had it all handled. yes till it blew up in my face. i have worked very hard to get where i am today and it upests me when i see friends that are messed up on something or another. i wish that they could see themselves as i wish i could have seen myself.God does not give us more than what we can handle and i think theres a reason for everything, i am just trying to find out what my reason was for the cocaine> God has a plan for me, a reason why i suffered like i did.i think that i could save one person from that pain it would be all worth it.