Still trying to understand what's happened here, it's finally starting to dawn on me. Am in shock, shaking, crying – a bit of everything, the horror of it all.

It started a bit over 24 hours ago with a car bomb outside the government building here in Oslo. First reports said 2 people dead, it was later corrected to 7 casualties and several severely injured. That was just the beginning.

A couple of hours later it was reported that people were shooting at a youth camp on Utøya, a small island in a lake a bit northwest of here, about half an hours drive. First reports said 4 people shot. Later last night we were told that there were 9 – 10 casualties and that the shooter had been apprehended. This morning I woke up to the news saying that at least 80 people were killed. The number is now 84. At a youth camp. Probably most of the casualties are between 14 and 20 years old. Several others severely injured.

It seems that one man did it all. 1. Anders Behring Breivik. Extreme right, christian fundamentalist. Norwegian, 32 years old, living not even a mile away from where I'm sitting right now. He is now co-operating with the police. They also found an unexploded bomb on the island.

He arrived at the island dressed up as a police officer, said he was there to increase security because of the Oslo bomb. He called the kids over to give them information, and then started shooting indiscriminately. People ran away, but he had plenty of time to walk around hunting people down before the police came and stopped him. As I said, this happened on an island, people started swimming for the shore, he shot after them. Others tried to hide, pretending to be dead, he shot people in the head to make sure.

Now it's just shock and disbelief, crying spells, confusion, a wish to help but no possibility to do so, insecurity about what to do and where to turn, not knowing how to react. Been glued to news feeds, tried to do other things, change focus, but it's impossible right now. Seeing the same pictures over and over again, waiting for more news, listening to more witness interviews, trying to make sense of it all.

This is a safe place, people trust one another, our freedom is depending on this, are we to start fearing everyone? Arm the police? Stay at home, hiding under a blanket? I don't think so. I think things will go back to more or less normal in a while. The city will be safe again. Security levels up, yes, but I think people will still be trusting, helpful, not fearful and suspicious. We'll just have to wait and see.

In the meantime – thank you for all your thought and wishes, it really means a lot.