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I feel like so many things are wrong lately…

If I look at my life, it seems like a total disaster.

My mom's deceased.

My dad is an alcoholic and is constantly angry and mean, and difficult to be around, because all he wants to do is cause fights and put me down and belittle me.

My ex-stepmom is now an ex because she couldn't handle my dad's drinking and rage.

His other girlfriend since then has also left for the same reason, so now I have no motherly figure in my life at all anymore.

My grandparents (dad's parents) and I have absolutely no relationship, because they're the typical rich, stuck-up, judgemental, cold people.

My other grandparents (mom's parents) are probably the only familly-feeling family I have. They're the only ones I actually feel cared loved from. But they're always out of the province.

My best friend and I have stopped talking because we fell into different crowds of people. My other friends are still there, but I don't have as much of a connection with them as I did with her.

I may or may not be graduating, and that bothers me immensely. I'll feel worthless and stupid if I don't get enough credits to graduate.

I'm going to be 18 in six days, and I'm terrified of what's going to happen to me when that happens. I have a feeling that, considering my awful relationship with him, my dad is just going to send me off on my own as soon as he can. He's talked about it before.

I also recently went to my doctor because of health issues, and found out that – after looking at my family's terrible medical history – I may or may not have cancer. Now, even though I might not, if I don't get this problem fixed ASAP, I WILL develop cancer.

Outside of my house, I do everything I can to make my life seem at least average, or even above average sometimes.

I boast about new things I get, when I've lost weight, trips I might be going on, etc. I don't want people to know me as the troubled girl from the pathetically dysfuntional family.

But more and more is starting to pile ontop of each other, and it's getting harder and harder to maintain my facade.

So that's why I joined this. I want a place to share everything without the risk of people either rejecting me or just yelling "White girl problems!" and walking away…

2 Comments
  1. Andie372 7 years ago

    You're struggling, but you're still holding on.. Give yourself some credit. I'm sorry about your family life, try and contact your moms grandparents. I'm sure if they knew you needed help, they'd step in. My granddaughter is 8 and I'd do anything in the world for her.

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  2. Rhy 7 years ago

     My Nana and Grampa know about almost everything that's going on, but because of my Nana's job, it causes her to go back and forth to BC a lot. She spends a little over half her time in Vancouver or Panorama, so seeking help with her would be a little troublesome.

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