i'm the kind of perosn who keep everything in. No matter what people tell me about letting things out ans sharing feeling I've never been truely able to be hones with any one about the way I feel inside. I feel that I'm whining about things that are nothing compared to what others are facing and dealing with. So I've decided to just blog about it!

Idk what it is about tonight, but i feel completely alone. I get this feeling a lot. I can be with my best friends or in a room of people and i feel so disconnected to everything and everybody around me. Like i can disappear and nobody would blink. and as much as i know its not true, i cant shake this feeling! :/

I think I just need love again. I've had love before, and i miss the feeling that it came with. I miss knowing that i mean something to somebody out there. I miss being able to give somebody that same feeling.

Even at home. I live with family still and im not gunna say i "HATE" here, but it definently sucks! Being put down constantly for flaws and yelled at for my smallest mistakes. blaah! I can handle most of it. I always try to stay stong and positive and just get over it but theres those days where i cant be strong. I hate those days. I just feel like crying and breaking down and i really have nobody to tell this to. I'm even to embarassed to tell my friends. yeah sucks!!

This blog kinda went all over the place but i really dont care! I'm hoping blogging will take away some of the stress. Even if its just me that reads it. its a way of letting my stuff Ooout finally! well blog one is officially done!