Everyday gets a little easier to live with, my nightmares are more spaced out rather than four or six times in a week. I’m not struggling to catch my breath, my head isn’t screaming at me to remember things I don’t want to remember. Maybe I’m a little numb but I think I need to not feel a lot of anything temporarily. I didn’t imagine at 23 years old, I’d be this alone in my life. My family has shrunk considerably, I don’t have friends, and I haven’t spoken to my own sister since January. I think that’s the biggest change in my life, all these months that have passed removing toxic behavior has made me be able to function better. After I relapsed into a deep depression, my sister did everything possible to assure me that anything I was feeling wasn’t validated and any new issues I had I need to get over. My last straw was her telling me I need to tell my therapist to tell me to snap out of. She justified the constant put downs by saying it was supposed to help me get better quicker. That for once nothing was going to be sugar coated. I don’t know when anything I’ve ever been through hasn’t been ugly but okay. For the first time, I can have an emotion and not flinch that I shouldn’t be feeling that way. I don’t have to lie to myself to appease another person. I can have a low day, discuss with myself or my therapist, and know it’s okay for me to feel a certain way. I’m not ashamed of my new triggers even though I don’t want them. After what I went through in the last year of course I’m going to have new issues and that’s okay. I had to remove people that used to mean the world to me out of my life. It’s a longer existence but this is how it has to be while I recover after they tornadoed my life.
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Possible revelation
Delcorin, , Depression, Child, Depression, Domestic Abuse, Relationships, Stress, 0
I bought the book "What to Expect When You're Expecting." off of Amazon today. My ex's mother bought us...
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I don’t understand how i feel
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Hi. I don’t understand how i am feeling these days. I am experiencing low moments oftenly. I would get...
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Feeling down
blah, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Child, Depression, 1
I haven't been on in awhile because I've been doing pretty well. I lost my job almost 6 months...
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Part II of first Blog
deidrexx, , Depression, Addiction, Anger, Depression, Obesity, PTSD, Relationships, Sex Therapy, 0
Okay so this is part II of my first blog. I came here, like I said because we the...
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I don’t know what to do anymore
roseee, , Anxiety, Depression, Teens, 0
There’s simply nothing else to do about it. That’s what I’ve been told. I’ve also been told that the situation...
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Help.
imogen, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 1
I dont want to be like this anymore. I want to be better. I want to be like other...
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Rest In Peace
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Tuesday morning, a local high school senior passed away (of natural causes). He was one of my younger sister's...
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When did I grow up?
ericalauren91, , Depression, Questions, 1
Today was a huge eye opener. My dad came to visit me at college, which was exactly what I...