First of all, I want to take a moment to thank all of our men and women that have served our country, and remember all who gave the ultimate sacrifice for us. You have my respect and gratitude. My husband is a VFW, so I also want to reach out to all the women and men out there that supported they're spouse while away on duty. That's such a hard job too.

My day hasn't consisted of much. I had the worst night's sleep I've had in a long time, and it was plagued by nightmares. One of them my husband had to wake me up from because I was screaming in my sleep. That one was so awful ~ it was so real. I had to get up to get my head screwed back on and get the adrenaline out of my system before I could even TRY to go back to sleep. One of the things that bothered me most about it was that is was so lucid and linear, unlike most dreams. Many nightmares I can tell I'm dreaming and tell myself that at some levelwhen it's happening. But this one wasn't like the rest. Ugh. It still gives me goosebumps and raises the hair on the back of my neck.

Since I don't want to relive it as this moment I'm not going to write about it. I woke and got up one other time last night as well so I had broken sleep all the way through. It left me tired most of the day today. I lucked out though, Zachary was tired too from our day at the river. Somehow I did manage to get a little sunburned, but it's not bad compared to the last one. I think I'm going to stop using aerosol sunscreens and go back to the creams, because at least then I can tell where I've missed spots. Even Zachary was a little red on his shoulders where the new skin is from the last sunburn. His has mostly gone away today and doesn't hurt him at all.

Today has been very quiet and laid back. I woke up this morning at 8:30 and Zach was already up watching cartoons and playing. He's so good about taking care of himself when everyone else is still asleep. 🙂 I spent most of the morning on the porch playing on the computer while Zach entertained himself with tv and games. It's been another really nice day outside and I've been enjoying the sunshine and the cool breeze coming in off the ocean. We haven't had much for wildlife today ~ a single duck and a beautiful white heron that visits often. I love to watch them, they're so graceful.

Around noon we headed to Melbourne (a 25 minute drive one way) to take my husband lunch today. He had to work but he got paid holiday pay for it which is an extra $200 in his check. So we went and picked up lunch and visited with him for about an hour. Zach and I played a sort of ping pong game on the lunch table and goofed off and laughed a lot. Even Aaron got in on it. Then we said goodbye and we headed for home.

On the way home suddenly I felt like I couldn't stand to keep my eyes open another minute. I had to really fight with the drowsiness to make it the rest of the way back to the house. Then I realized it was because I needed to take my 2nd dose of Ritalin, so I did as soon as we got home. I also threw in a load of laundry and started the wash. Then I climbed the stairs, opened the slider door and reminded Zach not to go outside because I was going to take a nap. So I laid down and expected to just conk out but it didn't happen that way. I kept waking up partially with weird thoughts, and then would close my eyes and go back to sleep, only to wake again a little while later. At one point I woke up thinking I have to get the paper towels out from under my head! What the heck?! I finally gave up on sleep around 3:30. So I journaled while Zach played on the computer and pulled out dinner to thaw.

So now I'm writing this blog about my boring day and how I'm trying to be relaxed because tomorrow is going to be tough for me. Zach will start summer camp tomorrow morning, and we have to be at Michelle's house at 7:15 to start watching Heidi. Why am I so nervous about watching a 7 year-old girl?! I've known this child her whole life, her mother and I were pregnant together and she and Zach were born a month apart. I know I shouldn't let this stress me out like it is but I just can't help it. It's the change in routine I can't seem to handle I think. I'm going to be taken out of my comfort zone by this, and I don't like that. Maybe on Wednesday I'll pick her up and bring her up to my house instead. That way I'll be comfortable with my surroundings and she's been here before so she'll be okay too. Besides, she got cats and dogs and a bunny to play with ~ what child wouldn't be in heaven?

I don't want to have to cook dinner. Really I just want to lie on the couch and try to sleep again, but Aaron cooked yesterday night so I guess it's only fair I cook tonight. We're not doing anything special, just pork chops. We had our Memorial Day bbq on Saturday with Michelle, Mike and the kids.

I still haven't heard from my friend Mindy, and I'm a little concerned. She was supposed to call me 3 days ago and I haven't gotten a text or anything from her. But maybe she and Josh haven't gotten home yet from her Mom's house. I'm hoping to get ahold of her this evening ~ I'm going to try to call her. She may be in a funk and need someone to talk to. I'm feeling like isolating today really. I don't want to talk on the phone with anyone today, but I'll make myself call her to check in on her. I feel bad because there's several people I need to call and just don't have the energy to do it. I don't particularly like talking on the phone. It wears me out.

Zachary is making a complete mess of himself with a lollipop. I guess that's my cue to go make dinner because I don't want him eating junk. He's starting to gain a belly and I was chunky as a child and endured a lot of teasing for it ~ I don't want him to experience the same thing. So we're trying to eat healthier and keep tabs on how much he's eating. He eats like a horse these days and he's not being very physical so those calories don't go anywhere. Camp will change that though ~ he'll be running around all day every day. 🙂

I wish you the best Memorial Day. Have a splendid evening too.