My life seems to be picking up a bit in some areas and staying the same. I've kind of just focused on one field of it right now, which is advancing my career. I mean, I'm still going to therapy, I'm still trying to battle my emotions but I've kind of accepted that I'm going to be upset a while, I went through a hard breakup and seperation from my ex and I don't really have a social support in place other than a couple internet sites.

It'd be nice to meet a pretty girl who wants to spend time with me, but I know I'm not ready. My confidence isn't where it should be and in many ways I kind of would just ask her to take care of me, which is neither healthy nor something a woman wants to deal with in dating a 23 year old guy. Not to mention I haven't hit the gym much as of late between being sick and grinding so hard on programming projects. Not that I need it, when I'm 130 pounds, but a bit of muscle might help. I just don't feel like I'm "there" in general with where I could meet someone up to my standards.

I feel like I don't have as much fun as I should anymore. But I played games with my bro a couple hours the other night, a week ago I went to a show in Portland, i've been in my studio playing piano. I don't know what this feeling is, but it's like I just can't get away from disapointing myself no matter how hard I try.

Someone wanna help me out here? Throw me some suggestions on what to do in the way of socializing or relaxing or just anything. I try and try but I know my mindset is massively warped.

2 Comments
  1. Andie372 8 years ago

     I find life to be incredibly uneven, which really frustrates the OCD part of me.  You sound like you're doing all the right things, the dissapointment is just the depression talking.  Maybe some more time in the gym would kick up your serotonin levels?  Always leave love open as an option.  

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  2. White_Rose 8 years ago

     Keep up what you love. I would really like to hear you play sometime.  any lady that ends up with you will be the luckiest lady in the world. for now though focus on you. xoxo

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