I made new plans for all the amazing things I’m going to do. I’ll be so accomplished, do everything I ever dreamed of. I have it written in a planner, denoted year by year. A perfect timeline for a perfect life.

But I don’t like that too much. It’s important to remember that I’m not meant to be waiting for life to start. I shouldn’t base my joy on the passing of certain milestones. Life has already started, did a long time ago. I’m in the middle of it so I should enjoy it already.

I don’t have the dream job but I do have A job. It’s a good one too. It helps me build not only my confidence but my practical abilities and endurance. It helps me build toughness of character and to let go of silly and small insecurities. To lose the fear of other people.

I also have the opportunity to interact with people in a controlled way that I enjoy. Be a little creative, and capture moments for people to look back on. It’s really not bad and I shouldn’t belittle it the way that I do.

I asked my coworker the other day if they ever felt their life was slipping away. They didn’t understand at all, didn’t seem to feel like I did. Makes sense considered they are doing more with their life than me. Academically and socially thriving. But I realize that I have no reason to feel as if anything is slipping away. I am doing things.

I can create now.

Enjoy now.

Take pride now.

There’s no need to wait for anything at all.

I can have everything I desire from the future if I’m only willing to see it in the present.

I have love all around me, and the opportunity to be of service to others.

Nothing’s as bad as it seems.