My birthday is coming up soon and I’m getting anxious as I usually do when the day comes closer. I was excited for my 25th birthday but every birthday after that I have completely dreaded. It reminds me that I’m getting older and I’m not any closer to the life I expected for myself at that age. I’m trying to practice mindfulness and just be in the moment but it’s hard to stay in that mental space. I’m on a journey on trying to be happy with what I have and not wishing for more. It sounds impossible in the mental space I’m at now but my new mantra is “it always seems impossible until it’s done”. One thing that gets me really depressed is the fact that I’ve never been in a relationship before… I mean I actually have but it doesn’t feel like it. I have this belief that once I find a partner I can relax and everything will be better, but why the hell am I waiting for somebody to live my life? the logical side of me realizes how dumb that sounds. I’ve been reading a book about being happy single and let’s see how I feel after reading that….