I am ready to tear my husband a new rear end after a conversation this morning. Due to having family visit this last weekend and then PTA on Monday, I was behind on homework so had to cram in my classes (and I still ran out of time on one assignment) last night and 'abandoned' the girls to my husband and mother-in-law to take care of after dinner. My husband decided to work so that left my mother-in-law. I guess after I left for work this morning, my mother-in-law complained to my husband about it and in turn, I got dumped on by my husband. He told me "while I'm just as guilty as you are" – I had a time deadline and there is only so much I can do – I'm staying up until at least midnight every night and waking up at 5:30 – I can only squeeze so much into each day – I bite my tongue but am stewing in my anger for the lack of support from my family right now. I'm working 40 hours, commuting 10 hours, carrying 12 credits in 4 classes, and usually deal with our two young daughters every night. Ican't do anymore than I already am and am starting to feel the effects of four hours of sleep forweeks on end,trying to keep all the balls in the airwith little help because I don't want to 'impose' on anyone else but when I need help, I feel like I'm asking for a pardon from the governor.
Unfortunately, school is only five weeks in for there's anothereleven to gowith Thanksgiving and Christmas mixed infor even moreto squeeze in. I'm just so tired and want to do mybest in everything and afraid I willend up failing in everything instead.
To make matters worse, with time so limited, Ifeel like if I take an hour for myself, that I'm being selfish and it needssomething else done.I do allour laundry,cleaning, cook on the weekends, yard workplus most of the time child caring. I need to findinner peace and strength from somewhere. I just hope I can find it before I end up in a straight jacket due to a mental break down.