This was her latest email to me after I've asked her several times to ease off on her harsh criticism of me–I mean, if she wants to give me her input or oprinion or whatever, that's one thing, but the very first time she replied to one of my blogs, the first thing she said to me was"sorry to say this but it looks like a wimp in any angle of what you were stating on your blog"(It was about a girl that I've been confused about to make a long story short)
So I laughed it off, told her I appreciate her input, thought maybe the wimp thing was a little too blunt, but no big deal…etc Anyway. she has continued to read and reply to my blogs and forums with words that-I don't know, I feel personally are a little too harsh for someone still in the process of emerging from a bout of severe depression? Or am I just being too sensitive? Anyway, here was her latest response to me after I once again warned her that she better back off.
"I have a job and im happy with my life..you cant see anything wrong on me except that im cold and mean to you but thats the truth.You felt humiliated..well its true right? what can you offer if ever you would have a girlfriend? Reality hurts Todd. You gotta to something being nice and sweet is just one third of pie that women likes to a man the importance is you have a JOB..you are confident not a pleaser..look for 35 years nothing has changed. 2013 has no difference in 2012 if you dont want to CHANGE what needs to be changed. as what I said f@ck ME if you like..I dont give a damn as long that youre not going to block me..im still going to bug you.better blocked me. PS..get a JOB, Todd get a job. I say it again..youll be lost when your dad is gone..you better keep praying for his health once he is gone you will be a loser bum."
Whereas I thought I had accuumulated enough "thick skin" in recent months as I have been in the process of recovering from said bout of severe depression, I have to admit she's getting to me. And it's bothering me that she's getting to me. And btw, she's only been on DT for about 2-4 weeks, and apparently decided from approx DAY 1 to voice her opinion with the "wimp" comment on my blog, and has been doing so on virtually every blog/forum I've posted since, for what that info is worth.
But the thing that's also bothering me is that I look at her profile page(which is virtually blank btw, for what it's worth; nothing at all on her "About Me", etc) and I see comments posted on there from other people thanking her for her input and advice. So that's where I'm starting to have questions and doubts about me–am I being too "weak"? Is she justified in her criticism of me and I'm not being tough enougn to take it? I haven't really bothered to check the other people's blogs who have posted comments on her page thanking her for her advice and what not–I've just pretty much assumed that for some reason, she's talking to them in less harsh language than she is me.
Also, I've tried to tell her that she should be careful if she's going to be so blunt with others that are doing worse than me lest she be commenting to someone who has a knife at their wrist and is crying for help on here via blogging/the forums; etc. But is that ridiculous on my part to think that could really happen? I feel so angry and upset at this person that Ifeel myselfwantingto gether banned from here for good, but is that selfish of me if others like her? Too "vindicative" of me and I should just focus on blocking her and not getting her banned off the board entirely? (Oh, and back to the girl that I blogged about whoI have an interest in..I am realistic enough to know that the chances are slim that things can work out with this girl given my current situation–but if I want to believe that maybe it's something I at least need to pursue as far as I can for now in spite of the odds…is that okay as long as I feel I'll be able to handle the likely result?)
I really feel this getting to me,,,and the worst part now is that she is starting to eat away at my hope and belief that I no longer have to believe that I'm not entitled to have good things happen to me (as I refused to believe through so many years of hating myself up until recently) if I make enough of an effort, or if life provided an opening to something possibly good and I just have to follow my instincts on it…something to that effect. I have to be strong and not let her get to me…but is reporting her as abusive and possibly getting her banned from here the easy way out?
Thank you to anyone who took the time to read.
Todd
If it is bugging you so much and weighing on you (which I don't blame you, it would probably bother me too) then I suggest you take it up with the tribe and contact them. If you don't know how to contact the tribe it's at the bottom of the page beneath the tribe names, in that little purple strip to the right it says "contact us". That doesn't make you a tattle or weak or whatever anyone would say. Maybe they can work something out or talk to the person. Sometimes a third party needs to step in for conflicts to be resolved.
so painful…for you…she is pretty abusive, you just have to shut yourself away from her…..too much of criqtue is going to tear people down..only positive words is going to build people up…
i understand exactly how it feels…i was verbally abused by my ex…before our relationship ended….
and it wasnt nice after that also. My dr. told me that I just have to not care about him and what he is doing already because we aren't together anymore.
I'm also afraid that one day my parents will leave, I also have questions like this in my head. But i believe that everyday pass..i need to be learning skills, i need to be coping up positively. At the end of the day ….we need to do one thing good. =D.
not sure if it is help. Pursue for future. Regards
Annalize
Holy Moly, that was one nasty, nonsensical message she sent you. The rational side of me says "just do your best to ignore her." I mean, someone like that is so clearly not worth the aggravation.
Then, I know how hard it is to brush off personal attacks, particularly when they seem to be aimed only at you. A year and a half ago or so the same thing happened to me over in "forums." (Heck, the quality of the writing is so similar, for all I know it could be the same person–or maybe it's just that all such emails come from the same dark corner of the internet.) All I know is that whatever I said to this guy–and I was as rational and smile-it-off as possible–he came back at me with a screed of insults, all under the guise of helping me see "the TRUTH." You see, like your antagonist here, my guy had all the answers and was perfectly happy in his life and was only back here to offer guidance to those poor sadsacks amongst us who had not yet seen the TRUTH.
Like you, I was boggled to see other people interacting fairly equably with him. Clearly I dinged some bell in him that made all his cells scream for a fight. I decided to ignore him and let other people get what they could out of him. In fact, I wondered if his vitriol wasn't a nudge from the universe to spend less time online, and I did back off. Of course, it wasn't long before he started lashing out at others, and one day when I logged on he was gone, and fresh breezes again blew across DT's open fields.
I am not sure what the point of my reply has been. I can't weigh in on the "to ban or not to ban" topic because I generally advocate a culture of self-censorship over external control–unless someone is making out and out threats. I guess I wanted to let you know that I've been where you are and that I am on your side here.
Stay strong and remember that miserable is as miserable does.