I met my, now husband, a few months after leaving my1st husband. My 1st husband was addicted to porn and voyeurism and I could no longer deal with the humiliation and resentment as well as feeling that I needed to protect my young daughter. I was scared and alone and I felt that my, now husband, understood me. We became friends and then intimate a short time after meeting. During our first couple of months together he moved in with me and my daughter. This made me feel secure again-although he had bouts of hostility-that frustrated me. Other than what I felt were "small things" that I could over-look we bought a house together and 2 years later got married. My husband's hostility has increased over time and has turned in to all out verbal assaults on myself and my daughter. We moved out of state due to my job and now have no family close. My husband got a job that he loved more than his family and became distant. I had a brief affair-non sexual-with a man that I worked with as my husband had many "relationships" with girls that he worked with. To this day he says they were all just platonic…but to me they were just as much emotional affairs as mine was although I didadmit to kissing thisman a few times. My husband then got another job-as a recommendation. It was a step up for him.He worked this job for 2 1/2 years but the stressgot the better of him. He is now home, not able to work, andis worse than ever. He is sick with prostatitis and this iscausing him a great deal of depression. Hehas always struggled with social anxiety and worrisome thoughts/behavior. Hesays that he doesn't trustme, although I was honest to a fault about everything, and that he lives in fear. Fear that I'm going to get fed up and leave, fear that he's never going to beable to work again and isa failure. I've done just about everything that I can for him-besides wipe his butt.Heseems to think thateverything revolves around him. I have to be the strong one-day in and day out…and I'm resentful! I struggle withdepression and anxiety too…luckily I have a decent job and a few friends that I can talk to and my meds seem to be working for me…so right now I'm okay.I'm just extrememly frustrated and confused. My husbandkeeps saying that "he knows that I'm going to give up and walk awayat some point".Part of me agrees with him….but thebigger, moresettled part of me says "shut the fuck up and be grateful that I'm here"!!I have lost some respect for him because he acts like such aspoiled brat when things offend him or don't go hisway. This is when he becomes hostile.My way of dealing with it has always been to just give him his way…or to avoid. Idon't like confrontation oryelling. Ican argue if I feel strongly enough….but mostof the time Ijust don'tgive a damn.I've always been laid back and easy going. My husband is just the opposite. Anyway, I have just been very frustrated, hurt and confused as of late and needed to vent.
moodog, , Depression, Addiction, Anxiety, Career, Depression, Relationships, Sex Therapy, Social Anxiety, 0