Today has truelly been one of those days, that I have been laying in bed or the couch all day, with just no energy or care to do anything. Only largest down side of such a day, I now have a wonderfully stiff neck.
I guess that I am just depressed that I feel like my relationship is sometimes empty. I love my wife, and in many ways I am a romantic, but I so wish that she would once in awhile be romantic back to me. Also the our money situtation does not help. My wife has got let go from her job. She is doing her typical attempt to find a job, which always seem to me the laziest way possible. I know that we will barely manage with just my income, but just barely. It will be another failure for a christmas this year, since by the time she gets a new job and all that, we will not have money for any gifts or anything yet again. I should be use to it by now, she drifts job to job all the time. But I was really hoping for an ok christmas, one that we can actually get gifts and give gifts out. 🙁 What hurts the most, she promissed that she would keep this job so I can go to college and finish it. But hey, I been promissed this many times and has not happen yet. And when the money is there for me, something happens or she crys and crys that she can’t go to college and then my college is spent on yet another one of her dreams making it so that I can’t have my own. I wish I could have dreams for myself. I really feel like I can not have any dreams for myself anymore. I feel like such a fool most the time anymore and too weak. If I was stronger, I would not be in such a place.