As we all have obligations towards ourselves and society, I reflect on how I am able or unable to meet certain obligations based on how I perceive myself as being useful. A case in point:
I am a member of a fraternal order that meets once a month, the 3rd Saturday of every month to be exact. As I write this, they are getting together to have their meeting this afternoon. They are doing this without me. To make matters worse, I didn’t tell give them sufficient notice that I wasn’t going to be there. In fact, I didn’t contact them at all. I have nothing against them…as a matter of truth, I love them a lot and require their company to feel as though I belong to something that’s significant towards humanity.
As I look deep inside myself, I ask myself…how much of a difference will I make by being there or not? Does my presence or absence really impact their work or not? I mean I am not an officer of this group. I hold a title with them but I am not a Treasurer or a Secretary. Do I really need to be there if there is nothing special going on in their agenda?
I don’t know if I attribute my lack of movement or action towards my obligation to the group as laziness or just a lack of self worth. There’s that word again. Self worth…I probably should have titled this blog self worth. There are moments where I feel like I have nothing to contribute, nothing to offer, nothing to say, although I have a lot going for me that permits me to give back to society as well as to receive from said group.
I need to spend more time to look deep inside to see what makes me tick to allow myself permission to act responsibly so that I can reap the rewards of my actions. I just want to really feel like I am a provider to people and to society.