Have you ever had one of those days, or months, where you are simply terrified of everything?

One, or many, of those days where you sit in the corner of the couch and move as little as possible because maybe then the fear will ease?

One, or many, of those days when you constantly feel like you're waiting for something, but you have no idea what? Similar to not checking the mail or taking a shower because you're waiting for an important phone call? Only today, like every other day, you're expecting nothing because if there was something you would start screaming and never stop?

One of those days, or months, when it takes every day between the therapy sessions to recover from the last one if there's any hope in making it to the next one? But, no matter how much time you have it never feels like it's enough?

One of those days, or months, when the goals are so simple yet so hard? Like doing the dishes, washing your face, making it from the couch to the bedroom to sleep for the fist time in months because it scares you not to be able to see the front and back doors? Then when you fail to accomplish even the tiniest of these things, which is every day, the feeling of worthlessness, uselessness, helplessness and hopelessness paralyzes you to the extent that you know tomorrow is only going to be exactly the same as yesterday.

And that's when you feel the urge to cry, to come absolutely undone and resign yourself to the world as you know it; to give up any effort to fight back or resolve the issues that made you this way; to just sit in fear and wait to die becasue it would take to much effort to even try taking your own life?

I welcome anything you have to say, if you took the time to read this. Because today is one of those days…

Thank you