I only write this because someone, who was close to me, recently annoyed me and blantly insulted me. But before I let it get me super angry I will asked your opinions…
I have this friend, let's call him… "Mark". From the day I struck up a conversation with Mark I thought he was a stand up guy. He was really nice, caring and he too had been through devestating loss, like myself. I felt like someone actually, sort of understood my situation. Or the feelings I harbored from a loved ones death. I know not all situations or feelings or a situation are the same… but it's nice to find a kindred spirit.
We got along very well. Then Mark went through a string of events with an online girlfriend. I'm normally a very open minded and trusting person. Which is why my heart has been shattered thousands of times by people close to me. Mark would confide everything in me. He would tell me details of his problem and I would listen and offer as best advice as I could. But as the stories went on and they progressed to be more and more "out there" it came to me that I would need to seperate my personal feelings to his situation from what I really thought was happening with this "girl" of his. I tried my hardest, for about a month, to be open minded. But also offering a little skepticism. But I tried to deliver my doubts as gently as possible to Mark. Because I truely had grown to care for him as a friend.
He would flirt with me harmlessly. I usually would pretend to be stupid at the advances cause I didn't want him to feel bad. I knew he was just reaching out. It's human nature to reach out for a ray of light when darkness is surrounding you. After a while I couldn't take it anymore. Our conversations became more negative than positive because even I or people I would ask as third parties, could not believe the things this "girl" was telling Mark. Even they could not fathome these stories. A lot of my friends told me to turn away from Mark. How I had my own things to deal with and get through and I shouldn't let someone else fill my heart with their greif. But thats not me. I am there through thick and thin, normally, till someone insults me in a way I find very disrespectful.
After a while I got a little agitated with his advances and I told him I was not interested and it would never work between us. He understood… at least I thought he did…
Mark and I would have conversations about what we wanted in life, from a partner and he would always throw the same thing in the conversation "well it wouldn't work between us anyways". Which was just repeating something I had previously said. Now, if that was only said to me once or twice… I could get it. But it got to the point where he would say it in almost every other conversation we had. So I came to the point where I was thinking… "who is he trying to convince of that? Me… or Himself?" I had a feeling Mark liked me. More than he wanted too. So I understood he was saying that because in some way he was hurt. But it got unsettling for me. Then he would start trying to say how I reminded him of an ex… well ok… so what? Are you trying to say I am a bad person or something? Seriously? He seemed to be becoming bitter towards me.
His behavior became more and more flirty, sometimes he would blurt things out that I, personally, did not want to know. Then one day when he repeated the same line – "it would never work between us anyways" and how I reminded him of his ex and now he was saying "and thats not a good thing" – so basically, this whole time, he had been insulting me! This whole time! How can you pretend to be someones friend and to care about them when you are blaintenly insulting them?!
And why? Because they don't play into your advances? Because they speak from their heart and are truthful with you? Rather than bullshitting you like everyone else was about your "situation"?
I don't have the time, energy or tolerance for people like that! If you're going to insult me… don't pretend to be my friend, don't confide in me, don't bother me period! Just because your sad, angry and hurt is NO REASON to take it out on someone else! No reason at all! Don't question my friendship or devotion to my friendships because you are hurt!
So am I wrong for not wanting to continue a friendship with someone whom insults me?