I was home all day with Rosie. Today was just so peaceful. We slept almost all day. I felt so relax.

Things have changed since my boyfriend came back around 6 pm. He's not drunk but might be in the bad mood. First, he refused to pay back the money he owns me even thought he's got his unemployment insurance check and he promised me to pay back as soon as he can. I don't have a lot of money left this month. I have to buy things for Rosie. He's never helped buying anything, even a bag of pampers.  He's never helped buying foods…yesterday was the first time in months that he paid for laundry…most of the clothes are his because I wash mines by hands and hang them dry in the back yard. He was so frustrated and mad that I didn't pay for laundry for him…gosh…it's only 10 dollars and he still doesn't want to pay.

When I breastfed Rosie, he asked me for his dinner. I gave Rosie to him and went prepare the food. He put Rosie in the swing after around 5 mins of holding her. When I bring the food to him, he called it "SHIT"…basically, all things that I cooked is shit for him. Unfortunately, he usually finish all that he calls "SHIT"…poor bastard!

I remembered I ask him for helping me buy a laptop computer for school. He said "I have no money…and it's just for you…not for me so you buy it". When I got the computer, he asked me why this computer cannot connect to the internet. I said, well…help me by the router…he said, "no…it's yours…so you will be the only one who use it…" Now, he uses my laptop everyday to chat with his ladies…

I really can't see the point why I still want him in my life. Rosie does need a father…but not him. He's a really bad father…and not a good guy anymore. I really want to go out of the house and start my new life somewhere else.  


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