The moving day has finally come and gone. It was definitely an emotional roller coaster. I was proud of myself, during the actual move I kept composed and if you didn’t know what was going on you would never know that we had broken up. Of course later that day it really hit me hard. I wish I could put in sequential order everything that happened but my mind is so scattered right now. The things that I do know is that there was a span of 24 hours where I was in a really dark place. If it wasn’t for my two dogs, I honestly think I would have committed suicide. I could not find purpose in life. Plus that first night, if I didn’t have other living beings with me that pain would have been unbearable. The other thing I know is that I thought I’d be better off at work on Monday. I had to leave after two hours because I could not stop tearing up.
It was actually a really good thing I didn’t stay at work. Before going home I was able to stop by and see an old manager of mine back when I was in college. She was very helpful and supportive. I haven’t seen her in years. Her support was much needed, but so was her insight. She brought up some good points on why I shouldn’t have been so hard on myself and also brought up good questions that I needed to ask myself about my ex. But most of all it was nice to just have another person care and just be so supportive. What really helped me was when I got home my ex’s mom and son were there. My ex’s mom came back to pick up some things they had left behind and to clean the rooms and bathroom they had used. I can’t even tell you how nice it was to just have them in the house again. I especially loved hearing the son sing and talk and do his kid things. I even helped my ex’s mom clean up the wall in their room. After cleaning up I went with them to Wal-Mart to pick up some groceries and for me to pick up supplies for my place. I had a really good time with the son. We were playing around and rough housing a little bit. My favorite part was he asked for candy when we were about to check out and when he got two separate pieces of candy he said that one could be his and that one was for me. Of course the grandmother told him that both pieces would be for him, but it was still very heartwarming. Our final stop was that I followed them back to their house. It would be the first time that I got to see their house. It definitely is a starter house and there is still a lot of work that needs to be done. I’m sure my ex is happy that it’s a place she can call home, though.