When I moved home I was hoping I could stay off the meds because I'd finally be happy. Wrong. Life is always changing, and it seems like its never for the better. My boyfriend's court date is looming over my head. He could potentially go to jail because of my parents. So, I literally could lose everyone and everything I moved home for. Mom and I still aren't talking, at all. She betrayed me so bad that I really don't care if we talk again. Its sick and I feel bad for thinking it, but it makes me feel better to know she won't be there when I walk down the isle. Because of her actions she'll miss huge milestones, and it makes me feel better. She has made my life miserable for months now, so what's a day for her. I'm trying so hard not to freak out over this whole thing and just be happy I have my boyfriend with me now. We are trying to get money together for a layer. The public defender is a puppet amongst corrupt town officials, and that makes me so nervous. But how the hell can we get 3 grand together so fast? I've never been religious but I can say I've been praying, multiple times a day, to get though this sane and without my boyfriend in jail. I graduate in december and we are supposed to move away together, far far away. If he is in jail that will delay everything. I've waited so many years for us to finally make a life together, and its just too close to being torn from me because of my PARENTS! So I'm done venting. Tomorrow I'm going to look for a new job. Midnights are kicking my ass and being alone for hours isn't the best for me right now either. I need a distraction from the mess in my life, and this isn't what I was looking for. Back to trying to just get through the day…

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