Well the pain never seems to go away does it?  It comes in one form or another.  After 3 weeks my hip and back pain calmed down but my ankle still hasn't…I have severe tendonitis in the tendon that runs from the heel to the knee.  I finally get to see a specialist about it next week.  I'm so hoping he can do something for me I miss walking to the playground and lake with Landon so much but just to be able to get around without my cane would be a blessing.

I've been super stressed about my kids and all that's going on with them it's driving me mad.  I'm so down and depressed and have no one to talk to about it except on here but at least that's something.  Oh how I wish I had a friend who could come over and talk or just hang out together but I'm never out of the house to meet anyone.  My son's girlfriends mom finally passed away after months of severe pain she had pancreatic and cervical cancer and her pain meds just weren't touching the pain she had so we all know this is a blessing for her.  My oldest daughter still leaves me to take care of her son which I don't mind doing except he wants his mom with him all the time and she works second shift so she's not here when he goes to bed and he just says I wish mommie was here….my youngest daughters  husband is still addicted to pain meds and drinking, she told him to leave when she found out about it and he did for a while but now she took him back and he's still doing it.  I wish I could tell her to kick him out and tell him not to come back until he quits or he won't see his son.  I understand she wants him with her and doesn't want him to leave but she has to draw the line somewhere.  If I'm ever asked what I think I will say this to her but I can't just go at her with it she might not tell me anything anymore you know?

I think things are bothering me more not because of just the stress but I'm getting sick on top of that.  Babysitting both the boys one is 4 and the other is 8 months old just takes so much out of me and I'm always so tired and run down.  Maybe I can get some good rest this weekend and feel better.  I see my therapist on friday and I don't look forward to that seems I have so much to say and when I get in there to talk to her I just don't feel like talking anymore.  Too bad I can't email her on a daily basis that would help. I think I might ask her about that and see what she says.

Well whoever reads this thanks for listening and letting me ramble on.  Thanks to DT I can manage pretty good, without it and being able to talk to my friends I'd never come out of this depression for a second.  Thanks to you all…