Well, I survived my first “test” last night. I have to say I am pretty proud of myself ;)I had one drink at home with friends, got all wanting to get high and whatnot…. Even begged a little (which I'm still ashamed of). But, I took a “time out” back in my bathroom to reassess myself and calm down. I took the meds the jail nurse sent me home with plus my Klonopin, and took a few deep breaths before going back out to talk to Tom. I was honest with him and my gf who was there, and told them exactly how I felt and how I overcame it on my own. I also told them the plans I had.1) I was not going to have another drink because that seemed to be a factor.2) If I was still feeling the urge, I would jump on the computer and blog about it.Tom was nervous at first. I said I was fine now. He said good, because he would have had to 1) call the cops if I didn't let upOr 2) leave with our son for the night.So, I told our guests that we needed to turn in early because Tom had court tomorrow. I took the rest of my regular night meds, and went to sleep. Just like that! I MADE IT THROUGH!!!! :-DPlus, as a bonus, I had a dream I was talking to Brian Warner (aka Marilyn Manson) and he said he was proud of me for overcoming my addiction and he knew how hard it was to kick something like that… I mean, look at Phil Burstetti. He was kicked out for drug use. (He was actually a friend of my fiancé. They were in a band together. Wow. Small world!!). :)I know, it sounds silly, but I have deep respect for him as a person and musician as well as a SOBER one(which is rare)! And I have dreams about talking to him once in a while.
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What a day to be clean!
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This is a prayer for all 12 steps. read them and apply the one you need the most. NA...
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