 |
Lost, in a thick forest of trees.
Can’t find my way.
Don’t know what to do.
So I sit, pitying myself,
For getting lost.
All I hear is crying,
Sitting and listening, then
I realize,
I was listening to myself cry.
Lost, in a cloud of misery.
Don’t know what to do.
Can’t someone help? NO!
No one can ever help.
They don’t see the hurt.
They can’t feel the pain,
That’s buried deep inside my heart.
Lost, in this cloud of misery.
Wanting help, then
Turning everyone down.
Can’t I ever make a decision?
Is this a sign. . .of depression?
Such a small word,
For so many feelings.
Can’t you hear it?
The crying call of my heart.
Don’t you see,
The tears in my eyes?
No one can see,
Nor hear my pain.
Giving up, no one will stop me.
Needing to release the pain.
The pressure, I can’t stand it anymore.
Cut,Cut. . .
The blade released the pain.
No more need to be lost.
No more need for the tears.
I see you dear friend,
With tears on your face.
Wonder why?
Someone cares for me.
No one cared what I did.
Now i’m dying all alone.
But, i’m not alone
Dear friend, your by my side.
I struggle to say these three words. . .
Please don’t cry.
Your tears run faster down your face.
You cry even more,
When I become,
A motionless body in your arms.
|
|
Pain is feeling empty.
Pain is feeling abandoned.
Pain is feeling you have no friends.
Pain is feeling no one cares.
Pain is feeling you don’t belong here.
Pain is never knowing where to turn.
Pain is cutting and watching the trickles,
Of blood fall to the ground.
Pain is watching everything turn red,
As the blood colors the water.
Pain is like death.
Death is being empty, inside.
Pain is feeling empty, inside.
I wrote this my freshman year of High School, because I had a friend that was going through depression and she started cutting and all the pain I saw her carrying around with her it just broke my heart.
|
od-bye to what used to be. . .
Good-bye to the sunlight,
I can see the darkness growing near.
Warm summer days are long gone.
Cold winter nights are moving nearer.
Farewell to the enduring happiness.
Farewell to all the pain.
Farewell to emptiness.
Farewell to being alone.
Good-bye to what used to be.
Good-bye to all the friends,
I may leave behind.
This body, consumed with so much hurt.
I can’t handle everyone’s problems.
Farewell to this place.
Farewell to all the feelings.
Farewell to what used to be.
Farewell is the last of my words.
You’re always on my mind.
You won’t leave.
It makes me sad,
’cause I don’t have you.
With each passing moment,
I miss you even more.
I can’t seem to keep you in my grasp.
You slip through my fingers,
Everytime.
With each passing moment,
The thought of you gets stronger.
I want you even more.
I can’t have you,
’cause you don’t want me.
So I’ll sit here,
Drowning in my sorrow,
Knowing eventually
My sorrow will end.
Thoughts of not having you,
Cross through my mind.
My heart aches until it’s
Pieces on the floor.
I need you right now.
I have to wonder,
Will you come to me,
In my time of need.
How could you,
Shoot yourself,
Leaving all your
Family and friends in pain?
How could you,
Shoot yourself,
So close to christmas?
You had everything
Going for you.
How could you,
Devastate everyone
That cared?
How could you,
Not ask for help?
How could you,
Break all our hearts?
When we could have
done something.
The biggest question is
How could you?
Dedicated To Skyler Cullitan (R.I.P 12-10-2004).
How fooled we were,
To think that day was normal.
It was anything but normal.
We heard someone had a gun.
We got scared for our family and friends.
We couldn’t get to them,
The school was locked down.
We heard someone fired that gun.
They said he shot himself.
Someone said it was Skyler.
Other’s didn’t want to believe,
In my heart I knew.
I was in shock.
I couldn’t breath.
I didn’t want to believe.
We thought he was happy.
How fooled we were.
They said he was in stable condition.
So, I was able to pick up some of
The pieces of my heart.
We got that dreadful phone call.
He said you died.
I dropped all the pieces to my heart.
I was crushed.
I broke down in tears.
Didn’t know how I was
Going to make it.
But I did.
How fooled we were,
To believe you had been happy
All those years.
Dedicated To Skyler Cullitan (R.I.P 12-10-2004).
This was written on April 24, 2007.
This was written on April 24, 2007.
Thinking about us and what could have been.
We talked about everything.
Well, obviously not everything,
There was so much that you lied about. You were my best friend.
We could have been happy together.
We could have had a family.
You shattered that dream with your lies. You lied for a reason,
That reason I don’t know.
You lied about so much.
The one lie that hurts the most,
You lied about being married.
I don’t know why everyone feels
They have to lie to me.
I deserve better than a bunch of lies.
Disgusted by the memories of you.
How you lied so easily,
To someone who loved you so much.
Didn’t think twice,
How your lies would affect me.
Now you’re gone,
Without a simple goodbye baby,
I won’t be back.
My mind is filled,
With your disgusting lies.
You finally broke me.
I can’t trust another,
For fear of more disgusting lies.
All I’m left with is a memory,
Of you with your smug smile,
It disgust’s me.
