Today I am bound and determined to have a good day. I refuse to spend the day cooped up in the house, I refuse to let the depression own me and tell me what I can and cannot do. I am going to get dressed, do my hair, maybe evenput on some make-up andearrings and go out with my family. Several of yousaid things that made me realize I NEED to go outmore. So that's myplan for the day ~ togo downtown and window shop for awhile, maybe go out for lunch with my son and my husband.

Last night I decided to put my anger and frustration into positive change. I started the project of rearrangingour studio apartment so that there's more space andless stuff in it. I managed to move the bed and vaccuum theliving area ~ stilll have to get to the kitchen and bathroom. I cannot handle living in a huge mess all the time and my husband's worse than I am aboutleaving things where he dropsthem. Chaos makes me feel worse and less in controlof everything. Today I'll probably make some more changes and do more dusting and vaccuuming and start hanging photos and such on thewalls. It's time. I've been living here for over 5 years now. Everything that wedon't need or use will get packed away in boxes for awhile and stored in the garage.Our biggest issue is clothes. We have a TINY closet and 2 dressers with verylittledrawers in them. I have to come up with a way to store our summer clothes during the winter and viceversa.

I just want to be able to walk into the room and feel at peace. I can't do that with the chaos going on inmy room.

Todayis going to be a good day. I'm going to fight back, do my best and be patient with myself. And ofcourse, I'm going to go get my meds and take them.:-)

Last nightwas just a really bad night, and now that it's overI can start fresh. Thankyou to all who left comments and support for me ~ it means so much. I hope that I can return the favor to you at some point.

Well, I'm off.I'll write when there's something to write about.



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