This past year has been filled with loss and pain…my grandma passed away, I've lost three guinea pigs and a cat. And now my other 15 year old cat is dying. Life has been so hard this past year. Is God testing my limits? I know my cats are old, at 15, and I knew my grandma would succumb to cancer but all of this is taking a toll on me and my family.
My mom cried last night and she rarely cries. She said she misses her mother, which I totally understand. I couldn't imagine life without her. But why has God taken so much from us this past year??
I guess on the bright side, Gracie was brought into our lives but one good thing does nothing to help the numerous losses we've experienced.
I guess I just need to get busy and go to school. I want to be either a CNA or a physical therapist. I want to help people and I want to do something in memory of my grandma. She dealt with a few CNAs during her hospice care and a physical therapist at the beginning before her diagnosis.
In truth I don't know what I want to do or what I'd be good at.
I just checked on Leo, my 15 year old cat, and he's just laying around. I think he's lost control of his bladder…I don't know if he's in pain, I don't know if he would be better off with God, I don't know if putting him to sleep is the right thing to do. I just want God to make the decision. I don't know if having the ability to put animals to sleep is a gift or a curse.
Please pray for my cat. It's hard for me to say but if he's in pain, I want God to take him. I don't want him to suffer.