Hello Everyone, I am the silly trans girl known as Iris.  Seriously, I  really do not know how to describe how I am feeling; silly, annoyed, chagrined, embarrassed…. mostly like an inexperienced noob… but oh well, I will not need to learn this again!!
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Let me begin with the “setting” of this story with a brief disclaimer.  This is my experience, just mine.  Laughter, fun, joy and hours of hours of sweet driving bliss all played a part in my current discomfort.
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You see, my uncle S has lent me his 1995 Honda del Sol for the summer…. It is so much fun to drive!!!  It is a five speed manual which is not that hard to get used to.*  For those unfamiliar with this car, is it a two seat car and the roof can go in the trunk. I think it is called a “Targa” top?  Uncle S tried to explain it to me.  But I was just not interested in the history of “convertible” cars.  Needless to say, the roof can go in the trunk, and with the back window rolled down (one of my favorite things about this car) it feels like the car is roofless.  This can be both a good thing and a bad thing.
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It is awesome when it is hot because you can let the wind blow over your face and through your hair.  Cooling you down.  🙂   I prefer to shade my eyes and wear sun glasses, but now wish I had thought to shade my chest as well!  🙁  …because it did not occur to me just how badly I might get sun burned!  With the wind blowing around me I never noticed the sun slowly baking my chest!  I probably had that silly grin on my face for at least an hour.  My face, arms, hands and lower legs are all accustomed to the sun.  But my chest… not so much.
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I usually keep my hair back in a ponytail and wear a ball cap with a brim.  Sometimes it is back in a tight french braid if I really want to keep hair out of my face.   I probably had that silly grin on my face for at least an hour.  My face, arms, hands and lower legs are all accustomed to the sun.  But my chest… not so much.
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That evening part of my chest almost looked like a cooked lobster, it was so RED, RED, RED….and uncomfortable.  I feel like a silly, silly girl who is not used to even having breasts.  Yes, in fact they are relatively new to me… This month makes it a full year that I have been on E.  One year into puberty, how long did it last for you?
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So I am wearing this odd red patch, the bottom and sides all mimic the neck line of that shirt, but the top is uneven, blurred by the shade of my face, hair and hats.  Taking a cold, cold shower feels blissful.  Even ice cubes are tolerable, wearing a damp shirt and sitting in front of the fan is tolerable for about five minutes!!  Delightful.
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I no longer feel like I am mutating, because my entire body is changing. I am no longer going to be an IT.  …I am becoming a woman.  Yea! It is such a relief to leave those seemingly endless nightmares behind me..
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I am growing hips and thighs, getting a layer of fat everywhere. It feels so weird to notice my body’s changing size.  If you ask me I still am a scrawny beanpole, but if you ask dad he will say, “Iris looks like Iris, and there is nothing wrong with that.” which is utterly useless…  I stayed the same size for what seemed like years and years…. I did not expect puberty to be such an ordeal.  Some parts of me seem to be sore and ache all the time.  Q – Did this experience feel the same way for you?  I am getting a little taller, I think?
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* If you are familiar with manual cars that is…   🙂  Dad insisted that I, my brother “M”  and my sister “J” all learned to drive a manual car.  His theory is….   Nope, not going there.  This is too long already.
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Sorry for my brain jumping all over the place. this feels normal to me (tic) every day, and all day.  Clothes shopping has not really been something I enjoy, but clothes are required and can be useful (at times) .  Although hunting through the thrift stores can be fun..
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Sending all of you some love and hope – Iris
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I really wish I could move” LGBT ” to the beginning of the “Category” list.