My boss\' wife came up to me this afternoon and asked how I am doing without Jack…this was out of the blue so my response was why? I thought maybe she had noticed something in me that I had not noticed. She said she was just wondering, then she asked if I still cry, as czojeff can attest if the right thing is said, yes, I still cry. I am crying less than I was a year ago. I told her yes, but just not as often. She said well you seem to be doing a lot, yes, I am doing things that I had been wanting to do, but had put on hold for the couple of years before Jack passed, my life had become totally focused on him and his declining health. It was a hard time, but there is a time for self sacrifice, a time when putting yourself first is not what you feel like doing, when spending time with the one you love and doing what you can to make their quality of life better is your number one priority. It becomes frustrating when the time comes that no matter what you do they are just in so much pain and so depressed because they know they are dying that you can not do anything to make it better, this time became the hardest for me, mentally I was a wreck. Now, after a year I realize I have spent the time catering to me, I have indulged myself in someways. I have reached a place of contentment in my life, but I also know that tomorrow is not promised and therefore it is essential that I do the things I want to do for me. I need to take care of me now. Someday I will have someone to share my life with and if I am needed I again will sacrifice for the one I love, because that is just me and life goes on for as long as it does. When it is over it is over. 

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