I no I haven\'t been on here in a while. I have been busy at work… k thats a lie, being that I kinda recently found out about MY WONDERFUL NEWS(just a touch of sarcasim in there) I found this site the same weekend and I was EXTREMLY scared when I found out.  I thought life was over. found out its not and the bills are still coming…. ANYWAY when I first found out I logged into here to get info…. then I used this site as a stress reliever to allow myself to "VENT" via writting.  Now here I am coming up on my two months knowing and this is what I have found out….

I am HIV+ , I have HIV-1 AB,   CD4 = 376, VL = 21000 and % = 29

HIV-1 AB is a Recombinant strain of HIV apparently it\'s common in Europe…. except my problem is that I havn\'t been to Europe and I don\'t know anybody who has been there Recently…. 

My next issue is that After reviewing my Medical records this is what I have found….  Rather than being tessted couple times a year like I request  the lab that has been tessting me over the last ALMOST 2 years hasn\'t been testing me for HIV, only everything else…. What does this mean you ask… well it means that my last HIV test was just over 2 years ago and that I may have been Possitive for about that long…. I was over in asia and did sleep with Several women over there.   But wait a min you ask…. your have AB so you couldn\'t have gotten it in asia cause they are most prominantly "E" .   this is were I am at a loss. 

I find myself sitting here at home watchin TV and something even nothing just hits me….  there is the possibility that I won\'t live out my natural life and I have a DISEASE  that is not curable and I can give it to someone.   If I ever get married there is a Possibility that I could Give this Disease to my WIFE.  I don\'t know how I could live with doing something like that.  I also can\'t figure out HOW in the world I could EVER beable to afford the meds and Doctors and Hospital stays and not leave my Wife and kids in a world of DEBT.  

How do we get Health insurance, how do we get LIFE insurance those are things that are needed in todays society to cover the death of a family member.   Sombody please do tell.

Okay enough of my ramblins for the night.   Thank you all for listening(reading) caring being supportive.  

Thank you



1 Comment
  1. damitjanet 13 years ago

    WOW 2 months, i remember being there and feeling the same way. I was diagnoised in 1992, never thought id live this long.since my diagnoises I’ve learned to live with it. to not focuss so much on the end and to enjoy the journey. It hasnt always been easy, but it is possible. Relationships are possible to. I was with a negative guy for 9 years we were careful and educated about the virus. Always safe except 1 time when I conceived my daughter. Niether one of them has the virus. It is possible to live a somewhat normal life still, just have to make some adjustments. As far as medical bills and insurance I would suggest getting a case manager from an aids organization that can help you with all of that. Well take care and remember to breathe….

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