Saturday Cirena and I went grocery shopping.  I was in an ok mood.

My friend texted me to go out again next Friday.  Which I didn't have a problem with it until she said her kid doesn't have school.  And I know it's not the kids fault but she gets on my nerves.  Always jumpping on me, wanting to sit on my lap.  I tell her to stop it and she does it anyway.  Her mom does nothing about it except tells her to stop 50 times. 

I'm not a parent nor do I have any right to discipline someone elses kid, but what the hell do I do when her mom does nothing…  I've addressed this with my friend. 

And it's not just an every now and then thing.  It's a constant the entire time her kid is with her.  That's why I stopped hanging out with her…  Her kid got on my nerves.

I caught her LICKING the bottom of her shoe and told her that was gross, that's how you get sick, and she shouldn't do it.  Her mom didn't seem to care much about it…  Just told her to stop as she continued to do it.  Then as they were leaving, her kids says "I wanna kiss you bye Chellie"  I said no and went inside and locked the door and told them bye through the screen.

I threw up and took a shower after they left.  I just find what her kid does to be gross and I don't want her touching me.

But if the weather is not bad I'm going to give it another try.  It's been a year since I've saw her kid last.  Maybe she's diffrent.  If not then I guess I can't be friends with her.

They are moving anyway.  So why get close to her again.  It's pointless.

"Everybody leaves – Nobody ever stays"

Then later on that night my grandma calls wanting me to come get Jayden because he is not listening to her or Jimmy.  Which I didn't want to.  I didn't want a kid over at the house.  I had plans to eat dinner, watch tv, and go to bed.

So Cirena went over there to get him.  He gets to the house and I'm already mad because he is here.  I know it's not his fault.  He was acting fine.  It was me.  I told him to stay in the living room and watch tv. 

He was coughing and I didn't want his germs all over the house.  But I was angry because he was sick…  So I didn't eat dinner.  Cirena asked me what was wrong, she said just the other day I wanted to spend more time with him.  And I know it's me…  And the only answer I could up with was well I liked him the other day and today I not so much.  I know that's mean.  I can't help it.  It just enters my head and I can't get rid of it until I do something about it.  So I went up stairs and drew on my arms, instead of cutting.  And drew some pictures.  I know it's immature but I don't know why I do it.  It just depends on my mood.

After he left I wouldn't come downstairs until she disinfected the living room.

A little while later my grandma calls again to tell us she called 911 to ask if there were any accidents in Jackson because she still hadn't heard from my parents…  Called all the store over there to have them page them.

Now I never go that far but I see where I get it from maybe.  since my parents would drop me off over there for weeks at a time.

Once they even went on vacation without me.  They took my brother but not me.  And I don't understand why.  I was always quiet in the car, where as they would have to pull over because he would car sick.  I never asked for anything, while he always begged and cired for stuff.  Why take the bad one?  I guess being good gets you not much of anything…