so i finally, to my relief, overcame an obsession that it wasnt gonna feel right and my gf, to me, would feel like she was some other person or not her, this weekend, and i ws so overjoyed. everything was still fucked up but i had the girl i love and it was ok. but now, to my shock (dunno why I'm shocked, it never stops), another obsession has arisen. i was nervously compulsing, imagining my gf just righ tto prevent something bad from happening, when, all of a sudden, i couldnt imagine her right. i got so frustrated that i felt emptionless. then i got scared, that it would be permanent, and id lose my feelings and my love for my gf. now, even though i want to be with my gf more than anything and i love her so so much, im scared it took away my feelings and love for her. and, everything else in my life is gone. she IS the reason i get up in the morning. She IS the reason i still try. its really codependant but i dont really care. you see, my life is so downhill, i have nothing left, but her. and i love her so so much, but now my ocd has targeted her and im losing her to my mind and im scared i lost my feelings for her and i dont want that to happen, and even though i know its ocd and it will go away most likely, i feel like im not sure if it is ocd or not and like it wont go away. im scared. im at risk tonight. i didnt tell the therapist today or my parents but im scared im gonna kill myself, but i dont really wanna do that, i just wanna be with my gf and i wish i could see her even if it felt wrong or whatever so i could have someone to be here with me. i need her and i need this obsession to pass. im scared.