Well my very first blog. I feel like crap physically and mentally. I have always felt like crap upstairs, and the last so many years I have felt bad physically. It had not until recently gotten in the way of my physical activities but it is now, More muscle soreness, physical performance suffering. I go to doctors they run tests give me pills nothing ever helps I keep hoping someday they will find something. They do speculate it is depression. I got that it has become very severe. Still get up and go to work(its struggle) but don't feel like I can hold a though long enough to write any code….Feel like I am getting more and more tangled up in a spider web. Feel like life is coming crashing in on me and although I am married am all alone in my little world of misery . I have just come to a realization that I have been compromising so much in life because I am married. I feel another woman is my soul mate although I have never disclosed this to anyone. I used to think we would not be a match but as I have gotten to know her better I realize we are both looking for the same thing in life and share so much of the same desires, which is not what I have with my current marriage. It is so hard to do anything cause my motivation is so low, and my thoughts are so muddled….I feel like I am living in a Haze. I just want to start anew. If I got to live another 10 years like the last I might just as well put a bullet in my head now cause it really isn't worth it….I see a vision of life I want but find the path there impassible….ugh. Well doubt anyone will read this, so I end this here…..and send it on its way to somewhere in cyberspace to gather cobwebs…..
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Chaos Yesterday
sadviolinist, , Depression, Sleep Disorders, 0
Yesterday was chaotic, as I've said to some of you already. I put Zach on the bus as usual,...
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Relax, people! (about the rapture)
QuadRaptor, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Relationships, Religion, 1
This will be a lengthy post about religion, so be warned. I just want to state my opinion on...
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Paxil Withdrawal
sistapoetry, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Questions, Self Esteem, Sleep Disorders, Stress, Therapist, 0
I’m not sure how many people on this site take medication..but I do..What I take is supposed to cover...
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None
forgetmenot, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Obesity, Relationships, Social Anxiety, Stress, 0
I feel really strange right now. I had a major… something with my dad two weeks ago. Basically…...
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This is my life? sigh (pt2)
lookingforward, , Depression, Child, Depression, Relationships, Sex Therapy, 1
We were together for a year. During that time I really improved as a person, I stopped smoking weed,...
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Walking for help
uberbobolink, , Depression, Child, Depression, Sleep Disorders, 0
Lately when I’ve felt trapped at home I have been going out for walks. I used to try and...
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First Day for Everyone
sadviolinist, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, Sleep Disorders, Stress, 1
Zachary started summer camp today. At first he was really nervous because he was afraid he wouldn't know anyone,...
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None
xotashxo17, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Stress, 0
So it’s Christmas Eve? I don’t think I’ve ever been this depressed or upset before so close to Christmas,...