Well my very first blog. I feel like crap physically and mentally. I have always felt like crap upstairs, and the last so many years I have felt bad physically. It had not until recently gotten in the way of my physical activities but it is now, More muscle soreness, physical performance suffering. I go to doctors they run tests give me pills nothing ever helps I keep hoping someday they will find something. They do speculate it is depression. I got that it has become very severe. Still get up and go to work(its struggle) but don't feel like I can hold a though long enough to write any code….Feel like I am getting more and more tangled up in a spider web. Feel like life is coming crashing in on me and although I am married am all alone in my little world of misery . I have just come to a realization that I have been compromising so much in life because I am married. I feel another woman is my soul mate although I have never disclosed this to anyone. I used to think we would not be a match but as I have gotten to know her better I realize we are both looking for the same thing in life and share so much of the same desires, which is not what I have with my current marriage. It is so hard to do anything cause my motivation is so low, and my thoughts are so muddled….I feel like I am living in a Haze. I just want to start anew. If I got to live another 10 years like the last I might just as well put a bullet in my head now cause it really isn't worth it….I see a vision of life I want but find the path there impassible….ugh. Well doubt anyone will read this, so I end this here…..and send it on its way to somewhere in cyberspace to gather cobwebs…..
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My dad….
Tigerlass, , Depression, Anger, Child, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 0
Another problem…. This story with my dad is very complicated….He left my mum when I was 2yrs old…then married...
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Pt 12 When you need help and they turn you away ..my wash machine
Dayisdone, , Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, Career, Depression, Hoarding, Stress, Suicide, 0
So here I am today. I went to wash my laundry. My wash machine broke. I don’t have any...
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Dear Diary…life hates me again
ChelseaH, , Anxiety, Depression, HIV or Aids, LGBT, Teens, Career, Grief, 4
It has been 13 days since I got away, got tested, got on PEP or anti-HIV meds and well,...
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Beaten up and bruised
Jamaicat, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Relationships, 0
So I guess I havent typed up a blog in a while. To be honest, I have had a...
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Be happy with what you have
BaleFire, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Child, Medication, Parenting, 0
I was sitting on my front porch the other speaking to; well I would call him an acquaintance rather...
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Testimony
Aspiretodream, , Depression, Addiction, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Domestic Abuse, Stress, Suicide, 2
Hey Guys!!!!! =] I wanted to give a bit of a personal first-hand testimony of mine. How to start?…………...
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Control
Bridgettetay2421, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, Wellness Tips, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Grief, 0
Im getting use to it… the low vibe… the sadness and disappointment… the force that i have to drive...
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“They walk amoung us!”
brokenfairy_38, , Depression, Anxiety, 0
I walked into a Blimpie’s with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and...