Just when I thought I was getting things at least relatively on an even keel….days like today happen. I just am feeling like a complete waste of space, of skin, of time…the whole nine yards. I know a lot of it is the depression…and I know a lot of it is concern for my gf and the fact that her health is deteriorating…and not really understanding what's happening with her. I guess a lot of my concern for her ends up turning into misplaced caution. I know I need to let her do what she can, but yet I catch myself trying to do everything because I know she's having problems physically. Unfortunately, when I do that…then it turns out to be a huge fight, because I smother her, I guess. But at the same time, if I express to her that I just don't understand how her disease works (she has ms), she gets angry and just tells me I have to just deal. She's given me lots of websites to look at, which I've done, but unfortunately for me…I'm a very sequential person and her disease is anything but. She keeps telling me I'm pushing her away….but I don't know what I'm doing for one and for two…I don't know what to change in my behavior. I love her and it breaks my heart that all we do lately is fight….but I don't know what's happening to our relationship. I don't want to lose her….I have no one and nothing. That might sound melodramatic, but that's how I feel. I hate this feeling of no control….and literally being swallowed by my environment….but I feel like I"m running on empty to keep fighting. I know I need help….but I have no idea where to turn….
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Safety in Anonymity
antarctica, , Depression, ADHD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Career, Depression, Personality Disorder, Relationships, Suicide, Therapy, Weight Loss, 0
So I'm finally taking the chance to share what this is like with the universe. Before anyone freaks out,...
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Honeymoon is OVER!
sadjac, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Depression, Questions, Therapist, 1
Why is that good things don’t seem to last. I offically enjoyed one day of feeling good after coming...
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Almost Spring Break…
QuadRaptor, , Depression, 2
Just gotta sit through one more Physics class and jot down some notes for an hour and then I'll...
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Failure
TryingXAddicus, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Grief, Obesity, Weight Loss, 0
Well, it's happend, I've fallen back into my ED. I've been restricting,working outand losing weight, four pounds already. I...
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No Country for Depressed People
LoksAgostinelle, , Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar, Depression, OCD, Parenting, Suicide, 0
Anyone who goes through a predicament such as depression knows the relief of finding another group of people combating...
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More Random thoughts
Mysticaldream66, , Depression, 0
Things seem to be always in constant flux and I am not sure how do deal with it. Meeting...
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Home for the Holidays
daiseegurl, , Depression, Relationships, Social Anxiety, 0
I orginally wrote this when someone special in my life was looking out for another person in their’s. A...
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This is random
revealed65, , Depression, 0
you can find the world in a grain of salt. you can eat it up, you can spit it...
Hi dear friend -I am just popping in to say, I hope you are well and my thoughts are with you- I hope things work out for you Bless you Vic