Just when I thought I was getting things at least relatively on an even keel….days like today happen. I just am feeling like a complete waste of space, of skin, of time…the whole nine yards. I know a lot of it is the depression…and I know a lot of it is concern for my gf and the fact that her health is deteriorating…and not really understanding what's happening with her. I guess a lot of my concern for her ends up turning into misplaced caution. I know I need to let her do what she can, but yet I catch myself trying to do everything because I know she's having problems physically. Unfortunately, when I do that…then it turns out to be a huge fight, because I smother her, I guess. But at the same time, if I express to her that I just don't understand how her disease works (she has ms), she gets angry and just tells me I have to just deal. She's given me lots of websites to look at, which I've done, but unfortunately for me…I'm a very sequential person and her disease is anything but. She keeps telling me I'm pushing her away….but I don't know what I'm doing for one and for two…I don't know what to change in my behavior. I love her and it breaks my heart that all we do lately is fight….but I don't know what's happening to our relationship. I don't want to lose her….I have no one and nothing. That might sound melodramatic, but that's how I feel. I hate this feeling of no control….and literally being swallowed by my environment….but I feel like I"m running on empty to keep fighting. I know I need help….but I have no idea where to turn….
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Today has not been a good day
sunflowerlove, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Obesity, Stress, 0
Today started off ok. I woke up went to school i bought a perc 30 which i preceeded to...
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Ever wonder what you are capable of?
PersephoneMary, , Depression, Anger, Questions, 2
Seriously. I have this image in my head sometimes. I'd lie in bed and imagine a pencil being jammed...
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So I'm up again at 3 a.m. This is the only downside to the Ritalin that I've seen. I...
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Hi all, I’ve been thinking lately about tribes and what we are all missing in our lives. It started...
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Do you care
Kitkat84, , Depression, Sleep Disorders, 0
I find myself crying alone a lot lately Do u care I find myself sleeping alone a lot lately...
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Idk what to think anymore
cutegaychic, , Depression, Depression, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, Obesity, Questions, Relationships, Self Esteem, Suicide, 1
im once again lost in a world i dont belong in. i look at the ppl i have in...
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stormy weather; no jealousy?
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Well, it’s Friday morning, in the middle of August….WHERE has the time gone, this year???? *sigh It kinda scares...
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No surprise that he is cheating on you
BeccaSweet, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, LGBT, Marriage & Family, Teens, Obesity, Relationships, 2
I don’t mean to sound like a bitch or be all judgy…but why are you mad at me cuz...
Hi dear friend -I am just popping in to say, I hope you are well and my thoughts are with you- I hope things work out for you Bless you Vic