In advance, I'm sorry if my blog is dumb and such…but I needed to write it out.

This blog thing needs more emotions. I'm angry, disappointed and sorrowful.

There's so much pain and suffering in the world, and I seem powerless to stop it. Miles and miles away, half way across the globe or maybe just the next street over – someone is hurting and I can't help them.

Animals are tortured everyday, killed and abused, and I just can't stand knowing that as I type… they are being ripped of a life, feeling scared and helpless…. no one is there to save them. No one hears their cries for help, the humans wh do this are indifferent and apathetic to what they do to these precious lives… How can they do it? I don't get it. I'll never understand, I'll only understand the feeling of being powerless to help except the small things I can do. Those small things are NOT enough to save them. Not when they are in other countries and in oceans. It makes me cry.

So many people around the world need help, so much evil is being done, and I don't understand. So many people need help, but all I can do is small things. I want to do it all, but I've been told that I can not do that, that I can not save the world.

Many people have told me that. It hurts when they try to make me come to terms with this, but I can't HELP but feel as though I need to do something… Don't they? Maybe I just take it to the extreme…but it's hard not to feel this way.

My friend has been suffering from Psychotic Major Depressive Ilness, and she's getting worse, and I've been trying to save her for months, but now… there are some things you just can't do on your own and I've carried the weight for far too long, but my friend needs help and soon and from a professional, I just want my friend to be better and happy, but all of my efforts alone have done nothing, and I fear I will lose them and I can't give up. "How will I ver know limits from lies, if I never try?"

I think of that quote a lot and song from Thrice so I think… "I will touch the sun, or die trying." even when "the voice of reason is screaming after me, 'you've flown far too high boy, now you're too close to sun, soon your makeshift wings will come undone.'

There's no promise of safety, with these second hand wings, but the melting point of wax means nothing to me!"

So I can try to take on the weight of the world, right? How will I know how much I can do without trying?

So I must try.

But trying is never enough…is it?