Today i woke up at 8am of my own accord for the first time in a long time. I was so proud of myself. Now I started planning my day and what food I was going to eat. This hasn't happened in a long time. And then I started to reflect on how my eating habits affected my weigh in with my nurse two weeks ago. And this happened because I have a weigh in tomorrow!

I realised that things went wrong last time because i was emotionally eating – I dont know why. Usually I can work out what it is that causes me to overeat or eat crap. But last time i had no idea! And looking back, I saw how my bf brought home all these foods that I comfort ate with. I spoke to him about it, and asked if he could stop bringing these home and he said well you just say no – its not that hard!!!! which really peed me off, and was sooooo hypocritical – he was really angry when the nurse said that to me, and here was saying it to me himself!!! SO I explained how hard it was for me, and he just shrugged, and I asked him if he could give up 3 of the things he loves and eat daily almost, and he said yes. But a few hours later he had given up and when I asked why he had broken my promise, he just looked at me and said what promise – I never promised you that! Thanks for the support!!

So today, with my progress, I realise that I cant count on him. I need to find the strength from within and not find support from him. And punching the crap out of a punch bag is one way I find the strength from deep down, and motivate me into doing something good! So I am seeing clearly for the first time, and finally understanding and feeling what it is that people have been telling – stop relying on him, and find the strength from within myself to make change. I am a little sad that it has taken me a long time to feel and really understand this. But I am not going to revel in this, I am going to get on with my life! take care everyone, and thanks for the support!

1 Comment
  1. Tesla 11 years ago

    That's great! I'm struggling to find my own inner strength. It's hard to empower yourself, but it is there. Just have to tap into it and stop giving others power over your decisions and mood. I definitely haven't mastered it lol. I'm working on it though.

    Good for you on waking up early ^.^ I get so mad when I sleep in too late. I like getitng up early and planning my day. I've been writing out food portions and guides and such. It helps me stay on track. I have sweets, too, but I've opted for healthier sweets: like frozen yogurt and weight watchers deserts. It's so hard. I hope your weigh in goes well! And if it doesn't go as planned, you're still working on it all. 🙂

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