Less depressed today, but I'm so exhausted. It's a seductive sort of exhausted – laying down feels so luxuriously comfortable. I actually took a nap for the first time in forever. I need to snap out of this, because I want to get a lot done this week. Paperwork to get back to school, housework, a trip to the shrink, and possibly the launch of my own animal rights website. We'll see.
Tomorrow, I see the shrink. I've been putting that off for way too long. I'm a lot saner than I used to be, but I am still convinced the meds are causing me to look older (people tell me I am nuts, but I swear I look older than I did six months ago, and I really think it's the Trileptal). I've already tried so many meds, and had so many side effects, that I don't know if there's a better option out there.
My marriage is about the same as ever. Found some key words in my Google search history that I really didn't need to see the other day. I tell myself that my husband is depressed, and not terribly sexual, to rationalize the fact that we have no sex life, but seeing key words that make it clear he's scanning for porn (and tell me, very specifically, what he's looking at), remind me that it's not about his depression. It's about me. It's been so long, and there are so many complicating factors, that I don't know what to think of the situation, but I would certainly appreciate some freaking discretion.
So, I've decided that today's animal is the chimpanzee. Here are some facts about the chimpanzee, courtesy of the Jane Goodall Institute:
Chimpanzees and other species, including some types of birds, make and use tools.
For a long time, scientists thought human beings were the only ones who made tools.
Chimpanzees use more tools for more purposes than any other creatures except humans.
In captivity, chimpanzees can be taught human languages such as ASL (American Sign Language). A chimp named Washoe knows more than 240 signs.
Chimpanzees can catch or be infected with human diseases.
Chimpanzees in the wild rarely live longer than 50 years. Captive chimps can live more than 60 years.
Chimpanzees laugh when they play.
Chimps groom each other. Grooming helps relations within the community and calms nervous or tense chimps.
When chimpanzees are angry or frightened their hair stands on-end.
Chimpanzees communicate much like humans do — by kissing, embracing, patting on the back, touching hands, tickling.
When a mother dies, her orphaned offspring may be unable to survive. But older siblings often adopt their orphaned brothers or sisters, and occasionally infants are adopted by chimps not related to them.
Chimpanzees are endangered. There are probably between 172,000 and 300,000 chimpanzees remaining in the wild.
The European Union recently banned invasive experiments on great apes. Hopefully, the US won't be far behind. If you live in the United States, I urge you to support the Great Ape Protection Act.