Alright, So today is the last day in this hell-hole Georgia and then I won\'t be surrounded by so many \'family\' members that make me feel like I should just keel over and die.

Honestly, I don\'t feel like telling or talking about how the rest of last night/yesterday went…Maybe some other time but I have no energy physically or emotionally to at the moment, sorry.

So…I just want to say that I do read the comments that people leave on my entry\'s, I really do even if I don\'t always reply to them, But saying that I need to tell someone and get help, I know that I have to and I\'m listening to what you\'re saying, But I can barely type and submit a blog entry to what i\'m feeling.

The though of actually telling someone is like out of the question right now. Anyway, we\'ll be leaving Georgia early tonight, and should be home like midnight maybe early morning y\'know? so I\'m just glad to i\'ll be able to get to my room and STAY there, although tomorrow afternoon I have an appointment with Beth (my shrink) I honestly don\'t feel like going though But I know I have to…

Then Thursday I have an appointment w/the GI doctor, and so we\'ll see how that goes. This week I also have to go get more blood work done for different medical reasons and just…ugh so not in the mood to deal with all these different doctors.

Then friday, Mom wants us to go to the beach over night…Have I mentioned how I hate the beach? not just because I don\'t want people to see my repulsive body but just how many people there are! I always break out into panic attacks just walking into the hotel, And have to get fucked up with the panic attack medicine just to make it to the beach and back to the hotel room.

And have you seen the food there? it\'s always so greasy and huge portions and meat and fish (I\'m a vegetarian) and just gets me so annoyed and pissed at the thought of even having to eat vegetables because they always put sauce on them or make them spicy which hurts my stomach.

I don\'t even know, Just the point is I\'m so annoyed and pissed right now, and I don\'t want to talk about WHY I feel that way right now because I know it won\'t do any good, Just…ugh I don\'t know.

I\'m gonna go now before another panic attack starts and I just blow up in someone\'s face, We\'ve got a long trip home and I gotta get ready for that SHIT. I honestly wonder if this is doing ay good…All I see is that I make people worry and probably is a huge annoyance to people on this site..

Ugh…I\'ll see you guys/girls later I guess.

1 Comment
  1. Mo 10 years ago

    You arent an annoyance! Thats what these blogs are here for…sometimes just to \”get it out\”. AS far as your issue with \”telling people\” (i know what you are referring too).. OK- now isnt the time….Someday you feel safe enough to do that.
    I hope you survive your trip and the vegggies can be rinsed off.

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