So over the past day my mood has changed. Now I'm not just sad, I'm angry. How can he NOT love me? What is there about me that he can't love?
Sad and frustrated, last night I sent him a text asking him why. This morning he responds that this isn't what he wanted to happen. We argue back and forth thru text message from about 8am till 11am. I ask him why- he said not to take it personally he would turn down anyone he's just not "ready for a relationship." I call him out on it because he told me he wants to be with other girls, and ask whats so wrong with me. It came down to what he feels is we couldn't do it again, but he wants to be friends, and just didn't want to lie to me about his feelings. I respect that and all, but damn it hurts. I told him to enjoy those skinny little college girls he's been chasing after, and when one of them breaks his heart like he just broke mine.. again… to remember the girl who knows him for who he is and will love him until his dying day.
Dramatic, I know. But it literally feels like my heart is going thru a shredder. I can't eat, I couldn't sleep last night, and all I've been doing is crying.
I don't know if I can be friends with him. He has been very special to me but knowing he just doesn't care at all just tears me up inside and really makes me want to kick his ass. If he were closer I'd drive to his house, kiss him then punch him in the stomach. Ok maybe not but thats what I would LIKE to do.
This sucks, alot. Its like going thru a breakup again. I guess I had to tell him sooner or later, but damn it really really sucks that he doesn't love me anymore.
Gotta get ready for work. Its gonna be an emoriffic day.