So I am Very upset. This is why I stay home and avoid people for the most part. Tonight was the poster child for all that can go wrong, even with the best of intentions. I went out to dinner with a friend that lives nearby, we’ve shared a lot in the past, had our moments. I thought she was a real person, but what happened tonight, well. So after dinner we go to a local bar that’s a hot spot, and she runs into this guy who is a friend of mine, but he has been in love with her for like yrs., and she spends the whole time there talking to him, rehashing all kinds of stuff that are non-issues, dont even matter, I’m cool with that as she doesnt go out hardly ever, so I give them time and space, well she ends up jetting from the bar with him and this girl, blows right by me, and when I ask whats going on does not reply, even when I raise my voice, call her by name as she is half-way out in the street, and ask what’s going on. They proceed to leave quickly and later I find out head out to a local late-night night club. Well this is SO ironic as this is the type of crap that as a friend I have to spend Hours listening to (that other peeps have done to her, etc.) and then she turns around and does the exact same type of thing to me! Well, I was gonna let it go, as I am a mellow type of person, but you know, I thought F it, I’m not gonna let Her walk all over me, so I proceeded to head down to the club I know they went to, found them where I knew they would be in the back bar, and just unleashed on her, all with a calm and polite tone of course. I told her how she did to me what she is always complaining of everyone else doing to her, that it was total BS, and that was completely unacceptable, I expected more from a friend, and I was deeply upset, and I said all of this (and more) in front of all of the 3 ‘friends’ that jetted along with her from the previous place. I am Soo tired of hiding my feelings and burying my emotions that half-way thru me saying what I had to say the whole place is looking at me, we’re very close to having security called (I told them not to bother as I am a Big guy and told her I wasnt leaving until I had spoke my peace..they believed me) and I am just unrelenting on  her to the point that she is in tears by the time I have said how I feel, the other guy got up and walked away, as did the other woman. I am Soo tired of being the nice guy that everyone walks all over that I am asserting myself and defending myself emotionally. Well this kicked it into high gear, as after I said my peace she and I made up, had a decent time during the rest of the time the bar was open, and then everyone wanted to go to an afterparty and tonight I was the one with the wheels (the girl that took them there backed out, even though she too showed up @ the party not too long after!~). I hate these kind of parties usually, especially when they are packed to the roof like this one was, but it was kinda fun, and I did meet an interesting woman in the restroom that felt compelled to take off all of her clothes before she peed and decided randomly that I was the only one she trusted to stay with her in the bathroom while she did her thing lol. That was…different!

Well we leave there, and my friend brings along this guy from the party who I’ve never met, insisting that he had party favorites that she had been looking for the whole night, so I tolerated him and said get into the car. Well long story short, he only wanted to sleep with her, after I dropped the others off, she and I were headed back to our bldg. we live in, and this guy was being insistent on coming along. She is very naieve and is NOT the type to sleep around and did Not pick up on this until we pulled up in front of the bldg. and I spelled it out in front of her as far as here is what this guy is expecting from you tonight! She acted appalled as usual (No one can be THAT naieve, right!??), and at that point I said look this is a problem of your making, which I have been trying to defuse the whole way here with no help from you, and now it’s up to you to handle it, I’m sorry. I was so disgusted I told her I wasnt even going to sleep in the same bldg. in my own apt. tonight. I am of course here now, but only after trying to crash in the car in a hidden pace for an hr. and that didnt work out well. Well on my way to my place I have to walk by her place so I stopped and listened in on their conversation and OMG she was saying all kinds of things about me that 100% Totally COMPLETELY are not true AT ALL!!  She was saying i was psychotic (she herself has BPD) and how I had stalked her etc., none of which is true! I wanted to knock on the door and set things straight right then but I didnt as I was nauseated, so I came on home and here I am now. I needed to get this out, even knowing that my few enemies may take solace in my suffering, well screw them, I dont care enough about them to care how they feel about anything frankly. My point is….HOW can some people, even the ones you let in and trust, be Soo completely 180 degrees different form what you think they are, totally betray you and say these hurtful evil lies about you to another person. I have no faith in people in general right now, except for a few very close friends and the woman I will forever Love (she knows who she is). Beyond that and family, I want to never trust again. Grrr, this hurts soo bad, why couldnt I have just stayed home tonight as I had planned. Ok, thanks for reading my epic novel if you hung in there, I should send you a gold star or something.


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