Here it is the weekend and again i am left alone to my own amusement.. I have a 8 month old and i am tired. Daddy is in his room playing video games and mommy is the responsible one.. I am tired, i work all week just like daddy but a mother/wife/lover/woman's work is never done. I don't want to "have" to work anymore. Daddy says i don't have to but i don't want to live off his paycheck and have nothing at the end of the day. I don't really have anything now but at least i am still independent where if i stop working i'm stuck at home all day. Not that i would mind having my baby boy all day but i'm sure eventually i will loose my mind… oh wait i think i already have. I think depression has taken over and i'm not sure where t go from here. I keep looking for a way out..
Every day i count the minutes untill the weekend because i think "this might be the time i get a break" but alas here i am still working. There is always something that needs to be done and i don't know why. Where is "my" time. I don't want responsibilities any more i just want to curl up in a ball and die. Why am i the last to be thought about. Vacation is coming up next month and we are going to the inlaws up north.. i'm still wondering how this is going to be a vacation. I don't like seeing the bad in everything but it's there and there yu go.
I have no friends, my family are all evil and i'm almost completly alone. Independence is only fun when you have someone to spend it with. Don't get me wrong i love my husband and i know he loves me but he has his world and i have mine.. we do not share the same mental habitat.