Achiements for me seem to be far and few between. Today I have managed a few small achiements. I should feel happy about that right?

Achievment 1: I managed to get up the courage and call the psychcologist to confirm the appointment that she sent out to me. This was made a whole lot less stressfull when I called and the receptionist said that she (psychcologist) is away on sick leave and wont be back until wednesday. I left a message with her. I also gove her my current phone number as they have been trying to contact me via another number that is now disconnected. I knew they had the disconnected one, but I hadn't got up the courage to give them the correct one. This is mostly due to the fact that getting a call from them at any time is really scary. *I should mention here that both my psychaitrist and new psychcologist are a part of the one mental health team, so the team had the old number.. Just to avoid confusion there*. I'm still not sure how I feel about the whole thing. Just having to see someone and TALK is HUGE and I just don't know if i've got it in me yet. You'd think after all these years i'd get used to talking.. but it doesn't get easier.. Infact I think it gets harder having to talk to different people.

Achievment 2: I left the house. Seems small and petty, but for me this is a big achievment. I hardly leave the house anymore so getting out at all is a big thing. Even bigger is I actually managed the shopping centre *mall*. Even if I did only go to the optometrist to order some more contact lenses. Small miracles eh. I also went to a smaller shopping centre and got some DVD's out to watch. I got some stupid horror movie.. love them… but this one wasn't good. Also part 1 of Season 5 of The Hills. I know it's lame, but i'm addicted :)… And thirdly was Mao's Last Dancer. I'm still unsure about this one. I think it could have been alot better anyway.

I had a horrible dream last night that my best friend died. I was so upset. I told her boyfriend that I was going to look after her baby from now on. It was really horrible. There was alot of lightening in my dream too.. Not sure what thats supposed to mean..