Last night I had one of the best non-high moments of my life. I was snuggled up on the couch watching “Monsters Inc” for the 100th time trying to catch a nap. My baby came up on to the couch and climbed up on to my lap. He sat there for 5 minutes letting me love on him and just watched the movie, then my four year old came up and decided that he wanted to snuggle as well. This is the first time ever that both of my sons let me hold them at the same time and snuggle them. I felt a feeling of calm that I have not felt in a very long time, especially being sober. I guess its moments like these that make what I am doing all worth it. Normally for me to get a feeling like I had on the couch yesterday I would need about 3 pills. But honestly this feeling that I got was much better than my pill could have provided. Because the high that I got last night did not go away in 20 minutes, nor did it leave me hung over, nor did it cost me any money. I guess this is one of those times where I needed to take my view of boring and turn it in to tranquility and it worked. Those 5 minutes on the couch with both of my kids snuggled up in to my arms was the best 5 minutes ever. It has left me happy all day yesterday and today when I get off work I am thinking that I might see if I can recreate my moment of peace that I managed to find stone cold sober.

2 Comments
  1. alanoriley 7 years ago

    Dear Mrsc:

    It wasn't that many posts ago you wrote,(I'm paraphrasing) "Getting high is m ore fun then playing light sabers or watching kung fu panda for the 100th time.

    See how quickly that changed already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You right where you are supposed to be.  Stick with it girl.  Those babies need you awake, alert and "lovin on them" as you so perfectly put it!

    Alan 

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  2. Grimnebulin 7 years ago

    Really nice blog! It's amazing the happiness these little moments can bring.

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