My mind is reeling,  Saying ‘yes” when they asked me out out was a big step for me!  So totally out of my comfort zone! As was the kiss……….. 🙂
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Q – How would you prepare for a kiss…. when you don’t know if they are a boy or girl or other?                 A – Does it really make any difference?!?
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I am thinking from his perspective…. Yes, I do personally know that men’s and women’s lips feel the same, but they don’t taste or smell the same…. girls use flavored lip gloss, boys don’t. ~~~And yes, I am sure they are a “him” I felt “it” (ahem)Â against my thigh when he helped me into my coat. (blush)* Such a gentleman!
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We did not exchange our #’s or anything… did not want to taint how good I was feeling. The date of our “date” is tbd…..  🙂   I gave him one of my old “junk” email address, so old it gets flooded w/ spam.
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Yes, he is the boy that kissed me! One of my first kisses other than family members…..  To boldly go where no man has gone before…..  (channeling early Star Trek).
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Well, he now knows that I am trans! He actually took it better than I had hoped. 🙂 We were holding hands, so he could feel how hard I was shaking. I was soooooooooooooo nervous! It was cute, he almost seemed concerned for me? …not sure what to believe.
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I am so mixed up inside, wondering what will he do? Well, I will find out in three weeks!
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Sending you a big silly grin, hope and prayers – -Iris
Hello Iris! You’ve been making leaps and bounds of progress lately. For preparing… I honestly would try not to overthink it and just be in the moment. The fact he knows you are trans, still contacted you and you have a TBD date set up is good. With that being said, like a lot of people in your situation, just make sure you are safe and enjoy. 🙂
Wow! Where did my mind go, and how do I get it back?
Hey Link, You are so right… I need to get out of my head, I tend to overthink everything, some might call it brooding.
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Being in the moment, being present, here and now….. This is not a feeling I am used to… my habit / instinct is to want to hide, to disappear. I used to feel safe when was “hidden”, but now I just feel lonely. I am present when I am with my animals, around them I don’t need to pretend to be happy, or content. I can just be the mixed-up me! And it is a relief!
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It can be exhausting, pretending to be happy, pretending to be “normal”. I know I am not normal, I am extraordinary! At least, this is how I would like to feel. I think I like myself best and I seem to forget my troubles when I am helping someone else. ~~ I feel content when I am being helpful. ~~ 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
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I know I tend to feel better when I spend more time with other people. I can feel the energy of just being near them. I don’t even need to feel emotionally close to them, but I would prefer it, if possible. Yet, the idea of being out in the middle of a crowd – still makes me feel nervous & vulnerable. Just thinking about going out makes my heart race, and not in that good way like when he kissed me. 🙂 …I am hopeful and fearful at the same time.
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I am completely capable of being out in public and still feeling all alone. An island in the middle of a turbulent sea.
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There are these walls I have built up in my head, I used to think of them as keeping me safe, feeling comfortable. but now I am starting to feel like they are keeping me in a prison.
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Sending you some hope for a better future, seeing some smiles, getting a hug, and feeling welcomed. – Iris