Its so nice to finally have something new to talk about…… D., came over from Alabama to take care of mom and me. We had an amazing time! We bought mom home from the hospital together, it was so nice she didn't need to come home by ambulance. Its been magical to have someone here to help me, to offer support, my heart is just so full of gratefulness. I'm desperately trying to trust this man, but I really must confess I'm scared of being hurt again, I've been opening up to him about so many things, even telling him things no one else knows, this is truley scarey, going so deep with sharing myself, so openly, so completely honest, baring my soul.I don't know where this is going but we have certainly crossed into a unique place of rapid intimacy, a certain closeness, geeze…. I cannot as I'm always telling him understand what he's done to me, lol. I'm so different with him than anyone else I've been with, he's been able to get me to open up to him on so many levels, I'm feeling things I haven't felt in so long, happiness, laughter,excitement,friendship, which is most important to me as I lost D&K. I don't feel attached as of yet probably because I'm so guarded, protective of my heart and slow to take a risk of great chance. I want to stay independant, so as not to get hurt again, I'm afraid to really let go even though he has me sharing myself with him on so many different levels. He's offered to send me to Az., to see my daughter, butI cannot get away from mom, well so far away as my sister and everyone relies on me to take care of mom, soI was saying how badlyI need to get away for sometime to heal, and he offered his home to me and his car, and also his help with getting certain things in order. We talked and I also talked with my sisters and I've decided when the time is right I'm going to take him up on his offer, wheeew, trust, ewwww! lol I will be going to his house in Alabama for 2 to 4 weeks whenever mom is settled and recovered. I hope I can get past my fears and get excited about this, let go and let someone help me…….
D., and I went to the Marietta Diner for dinner Sat., night it was his first time to go there, we had a wonderful time, really one of the best times I've had in, well i don't no when. The food was amazing as usual, we shared a bottle of wine that was the best I've had in 2 or 3 yrs, D isn't a drinker but every once in awhile he'll have something, we went for a drive afterwards, had a emotional conversation, parked, talked awhile longer, then we stepped out of the car and held eachother while looking at the big dipper, still talking, it was a magical night, we drove home, spent some time with mom and he stayed the night and then left today, I was suppose to go with him to meet his family, but couldn't leave mom yet. He was completely understanding. Its been a great 3 days…….Thank You, D.
