There are phases in life when it is difficult to get out from under the cloud of sadness that accompanies major loss. Whether it is the loss of a loved one, a job that provides for you and your family, or the reality you cannot become the parent you dreamt you would be, or maybe the loss of self-identity which happens when you accept that you need medication to cope, the truth is the transition between how you want life to be and where you find yourself currently makes it difficult to manage, even with support. Unless someone has traveled the path you are traveling there is no way to comprehend the aloneness that accompanies the burden of pain you feel.  

So what can you do? As a professional who specializes in sensorimotor psychotherapy, trauma therapy that includes the body in the process of healing, I can say that whatever avenue you and your therapist choose to follow, make sure you include the body. For example, if you experience a challenging moment turn to your breath. Allow it to be a resource. Pay attention to your posture. When in pain the body collapses. The chest becomes concave, shoulders slop downward and the head usually bends forward which means you see the world from a diminished perspective. Gently correct your posture. Raise your gaze to see the face of a loved one. Acknowledge together with hope you can make it one step at a time.

Joan Shaver is the author of Lipstick and Soul: Own your Power, a women's self help book that inspires. Visit for more information on Shaver or her book.


1 Comment
  1. Paulajay81 10 years ago

    I like this 🙂 wish i had of read it tens minutes ago

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