I always have nightmares when I fall asleep and weird images when I close my eyes… but this was a different story. It felt very real … scarily real. I had a dream that I had a boyfriend but he ended up trying to strangle me so I killed him. I also killed someone else for some reason I can't remember why or how. I remember something to do with a train track and a cliff? I became very anxious people would find out and carried on my usual life. I got on a train with a few friends. A bomb exploded and left me and another girl who I didn't know in the part of the intact train with my friends disappeared. Then I just remember walking out of school and the police waiting for me. When they saw me they started to arrest me and I felt everyones eyes upon me. Then I just remember everyone finding out and seeing what happened on facebook with everyone's reactions.. including people I knew and didn't know. One girl at school which I haven't really got on with commented ':o take' what does that mean? I remember watching my story on the news like I was sitting at home watching it from my telly. Then I remember watching the other girl walk out of the station. They were blaming me for the bomb when It was her. I told them to watch the cctv which proved it wasn't me and they let me go? Not charging me for the other murders. I woke up thinking it was real and in complete shock. Then I started to come round and see that it wasn't. I just couldn't believe how remorseless I was! I would never be able to kill anyone, If I did by accident I would probably kill myself! So so strange… I know my psychiatrist would tell me it shows my deeply hidden anger and anxiety but still very strange….
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Moments of realization and disappointment
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